I just figured I would say it back she said it first but thank you for your advice I will def tone it down

The incubation period for chlamydia is weeks not months. It's highly unlikely you were infected from some tryst he had five months ago.

[removed]

If you're coming on way strong at just 90 days into this she probably doesn't mean it as a good thing when she says "she has never been loved the way" you "love" her. Three months is still just very much in the tentative getting-to-know-you phase of a relationship so if you're throwing around the "L word" and acting like you two are getting married of course she's freaked out. On top of that she's 22, meaning you almost certainly won't be the last relationship she ever has. Check yourself because this would all be way too much for the typical early 20's person only a mere three months into seeing a new suitor.

I wouldn’t necessarily dump him for being non exclusive when we were… non exclusive. I don’t blame you for being put off by it, depending on how seriously couple-y the “talking phase” was going, it might have been reasonable for you to expect that he had tapered off on the other girls he was dating and sleeping with. Just the circumstances of everyone’s talking stages are different so it’s hard to say if sleeping with someone else is a dealbreaker all the time.

However, he was irresponsible and unsafe, and gave you an std! I would dump him for that.

It's not. It's helping you realize that this guy was an abusive ass and that you would be much happier with someone else who is better for you.

It’s because you are both worrying only about his feelings.

Who are you representing when you break up. His needs or yours? It’s supposed to be yours.

If he isn’t meeting your needs then what does begging change?

Focus on what you actually want. A healthy relationship and end this. Staying is just toxic.

I guess i just don’t want to blanket a problem with a person

[deleted]

For a 22 year old she is very very mature so I don't think it's a case of that I'm afraid she's just doesn't trust me anymore with me letting her down.

SORRY! 22M- not 22F. Oops-

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Not just that he gave her STD! super deal breaker for me.

I’ve not really had them with jealousy before, I guess I’ve had them in terms of worrying about other stuff like health.

Thanks for the response.

The ADHD thing is definitely on the table, and definitely rings a bell. I've been communicating pretty clearly for a while now, the problem is mainly that she is actively applying for jobs, but avoiding customer service forward/food service jobs all together, because a history of working in those industries is a big contributor to her now prevalent anxiety. (Spending years of 40 hours a week with strangers yelling at you because they're latte isn't hot enough will do that to you).

We were talking every couple of days over the break, when I got back I didn’t communicate because of exams. I thought we had things on hold until they were done, she thought that it was finished. 😕

Be honest with yourself can you just be her friend , is so text her back and continue your friendship.

But if you’re thinking this is a way in to start dating her, just leave her alone.

I think you made the right decision. To me, withholding the truth is a lie of omission and is the same thing as lying. It isn’t giving you full knowledge to make decisions about your life.

Wait till 4pm and then send him the screenshots and then block him.

Say.

I wonder how many times you have done that behind my back?? You are disgusting, no amount of excuses will fix this don't contact me anymore you have well and truly fucked it.

Then block him and get tested

[removed]

>Is this a dealbreaker?

I'd be willing to go down with this ship, in whatever form that comes to (Over 10 years of warm love is a strong drug).

As I mentioned, she actively applies to jobs most days, but not the jobs that would be easily attainable (anything customer service/food industry related), because they're a big part of why she has so much anxiety now.

There you go. Move on.

Yeah well, I would dump him them.

Something that stuck out for me (44F) was they she’s seeing doctors and a therapist and things aren’t improving AND she isn’t doing the hard work of actively pursuing work. Has she been screened for ADHD? I didn’t get diagnosed until my 40’s and for years was being treated for anxiety and depression—nothing was working well because my anxiety and depression were secondary to the ADHD. I had so much self hate and had to use so much energy to get even simple things done.

Whether it’s ADHD or mental health though, these are reasons, not excuses.

You need to very clearly communicate to her how you are feeling. Not what she needs to do but how YOU feel and why. She may not realize how much this impacting your mental health. She needs to go get a job now. Today. McDonalds, the corner convenience store—whatever. She can keep looking for the ideal position and be bringing in some money.

[removed]