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>Also if the pill is the problem, we don’t have many other options as I can’t use condoms

And that excuse is?

Imma level with you, the pill hormonally affects women. It took my wife a while to get used to the changes. It totally bombed her sex drive. Either you put up with it and wait, or you break up with her. It's that simple. Albeit really shallow. There's more to relationships than just sex.

Thanks. That's important context because how does he logically expect to purchase a home if he basically breaks even every month?

When you have the conversation, just be honest and direct. Tell him you're concerned that he's not considering the future at all, and ask him how he expects to be able to achieve future goals if he continues to spend all of his money. Have you two discussed a timeline for achieving these things?

You're right in that it's his money and you can't control how he uses it. But his decisions impact you from a relationship perspective. If he's happy to live as is forever, that's his choice. But you'd need to decide if you're good with that. Good luck.

You pay the rent. You have every right to work where you want. Heck you can work hanging upside down from your light fitting in the bathroom naked if it so pleases you to do so.

As for the other issues. Your BiL and MiL have to go asap. You haven't got a marriage with them living there, especially the BiL living there rent free. He's using amenities and food that you're paying for, money you should be putting away for your future. If your husband doesn't see this you've got to assume he doesn't see one. Why would anyone want their brother permanently living with them and their wife? It's incomprehensible.

The way your husband acted was out of order and you probably don't need me to tell you you were BOTH out of line for being abusive.

You both need to sit down and agree to get these parasites out of your home. Or you need to leave and find a guy who will treat you with respect and who wants to spend his time with you and you alone. (When in the marital home)

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Have you tried thinner condoms? Bigger sizes? Abstaining from masturbation to see if that helps?

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Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

Can’t maintain erection with them, genuinely kills it straight, have tried multiple times and have even been broken up with because of it. And I can’t take viagra or pills like that because I’m on other medication

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You both need to confess to your partners.

Interesting that you're more concerned about your affair partner than your life partner.

You both just destroyed your current marriage/engagement.

You may soon be single.

You both are too old for this BS.

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

Typically you’d split it 50/50 between two people. You’re not married and presume not engaged, so 50/50 is fair. Your ability to pay is irrelevant, meaning if you can’t afford to split, then maybe wait until you can. Just because someone makes more than you doesn’t mean they should pay more. You should sit down and talk to the bf about this.

When I read something like this, I have two trail of thoughts.

Benefit of the doubt: Something triggered him to want to be a better partner for you.

Other side: Trying to make up for something he did...

I see this exact scenario over and over..I can only help you for the next time. So here is what you do to avoid this problem again. When someone breaks up with you, you let them go and dont get back together. Its not going to work out the second, third, fourth, hundredth time you get back together. Save yourself the trouble

Right?

Good luck.

Your decision is : go zero contact (that's the consequence of permenantly contaminating your friendship); or divorce your current partners.

In either event, you destroyed your marriage. You need to confess to your wife. She has the right to decide whether she wants to reconcile or divorce.

And you have to make yourself a safe partner. Your behavior was selfish, entitled, deceitful, and shows zero empathy for your life partner.

There's no quick fix (and don't ever blame it on the alcohol).

>(Ik that’s a common excuse but I genuinely can’t lol)

Why not?

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He puts away enough money to cover expenses for the month but that is about it. He does not have any savings unless he is in the process of saving up for something he wants to buy. When we first started dating he had debt but he just payed it off a couple months ago

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Oh yeah 100% I never had an issue with him going out. I know all of the friends he’s on holiday with and they’re all decent guys.

He’s already saying I’m making him anxious and that he’s just trying to enjoy his time on holiday but he can’t because he’s worried about me. Not worried enough to actually message me and check in though

They really don't. Just because someone gets a lot of attention doesn't mean that getting over a broken heart and a bunch of failed hopes for a meaningful relationship is any easier. Most of the attention women get from men is unwelcome and adds little to their quality of life.

Also, nothing is more valuable than working on yourself. You are going to face a lot of rejection in life but if you learn how to fundamentally value yourself such things will bounce off you're made of teflon. Confidence comes from within and not other people!

Nobody like's a self-deprecating and needy person either. You didn't like your GF looking for validation from others, but with how you're behaving how you are any different? Because it sounds like you base your self-esteem on being validated by others even more than she did (and perhaps this is why you hated her TikToks so much? Because you were projecting your insecurities onto her). It;s pretty hyprocitical to accuse her of hoe behaviour when deep down, you're just as hoe for the attention of the opposite sex as she was.

Stop obsessing over getting attention. And don't use people to get over people. You're not acting respectable or mature here. If you want a better people and a better life, then you need to be the kind of person in it that you want to attract.