Different people have different intimacy needs. There's nothing wrong with needing sexual intimacy in a romantic relationship as many people do, but there are people who don't consider it a necessity.

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So you essentially forgave him without consequences. Really sorry to say this, but he's probably going to cheat again.

There's an amazing Maya Angelou quote which applies here. 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.'

You're worried about the wrong thing here, his childhood friend isn't the issue, your boyfriend is the person who cheated on you and only stopped when he got caught.

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That's the issue though is when she gets these off days she's not very willing to work together on it, and when she has her on days I'm afraid bringing it up will cause her to spiral back into being off again as very little issues can easily do that to her

Slept together like sex I'm assuming. Honestly, why do you want to be with someone you can't trust? That feeling will never go away. I know you love him, but you'll find someone else and your feelings for this dude will die down.

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My advice: as soon as things seem pretty difficult for you I would do couples counseling. And maybe start putting that seed out there now about how couples counseling is a good thing. For the first 10 years in my marriage my wife thought therapy was just for crazy people and would get really angry if I suggested it, and to get couples counseling just meant we had a failed marriage. Since she started regular therapy her life has definitely changed for the better. It's important that you are both in it to improve your relationship.

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girl it was over the first time he cheated..look at you now, you are paranoid, dont trust the guy and are waiting for the other shoe to fall...

> but I was very stupid and naive

well if someone is exposed for what they are, then you can no longer be naive...ignoring what that person does and is, does kinda make you still 'stupid'. anyways, just find a new person who hasn't cheated on you. its not gonna work out and you will have these exact feeling for the entirety of your time with your cheater. Just move on, you will love someone else I assure you

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Dude she sounds like a horrible horrible person! She clearly doesn’t give a crap how she made you feel! Those messages are so cold!

What is with the comments on your body and the military! That’s just low! You look ill?!? What… you got fit?? Either way, it’s a superficial thing to say!

Forget her and move on! She isn’t worth anymore tears!

Also, what did you mean 6 guys? Are you saying she has slept with 6 men before you?? Was this an issue for you?

The first time they were allegedly drunk..... but the others.. she said he initiated it every time and he couldn't give me a reason to why he did. He just sighed and shook his head and said "I don't know" so I got tired of asking why.

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They slept together/kissed multiple times

What on earth would be the point? You’re not allowed to sleep with anyone then what on earth would keep you there

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You can be romantic without sex.

What was the extent of cheating? Sex? Just kissing? Emotional cheating?

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My husband doesn't realize and will not accept his brother in law is causing issues.

I don't condone my behavior in the least. But I will say that I warned him many times to give me back my laptop. I felt very triggered that he took my laptop and was trying to act like I was the one at fault. He got mad that I was trying to take my laptop back. I told him it's completely unacceptable that he's acting this way and he laughed that I was calling him unacceptable after what I'm doing. Basically all this pushed me to what I did. Again, I know I am wrong. But I'm providing context for my actions.

I don't expect it to go away, but I know people who have managed to work through it and get to a point where they still love each other and are romantically invested despite the disorder, one of them being related to my girlfriend actually. I've been working with her directly to try to figure this out but I'm reaching out to reddit for any advice that can help the situation rn