Thats fair, I dont think he cheated because he struggles to talk to other women in general, but maybe a lady said something to him and he got uncomfortable with it. He doesn’t really like to share when he’s uncomfortable with others behaviors, excluding mine which he will tell me, so maybe thats it. He might feel bad about it.

You need to leave. This is not a life - they are all using you. You are not a doormat or a maid. Please pack your things and go to your parents, friends , siblings etc. YOU ARE BEING ABUSED AND USED.

Maybe you should break up due to incompatibility

He probably said something to them, similar to how you're talking to us, and then they were like "If you don't want to lose her, you've gotta show her you care."

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Don't do something "funny." Just ask her out on a date normally. It's not too late. Shoot your shot. You have nothing to lose. Good luck.

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She’s not obligated to have anyone in her wedding party that she doesn’t want to. What you know now is that she doesn’t consider you as close of a friend as you thought you were. That’s okay but it also means you don’t need to go all out—you’re just a guest. Behave as a guest.

I wouldn’t go on a cross country bachelorette trip to begin with—that’s too much money in my mind. But I’d go to the wedding and get $50 gift or whatever. An engraved photo frame with their wedding date or something like that.

Exactly. Like she's not a bad person overall, her on days are more like her normal self and she's sweet, caring, very loving, silly, and fun. It's just when she gets those off days she's like a completely different person. Not sweet or lovey at all and idk how to handle it.

That’s an interesting take! I know most of his friends have girlfriends so maybe they said something to him…

The living room is not the point at all. The point is that you have absolutely no say as to what goes on in this house: who lives there, what parts of the house are your domain. You have no leverage in this marriage. Why put up with that?

If you left, he would have to support three people. You would only have to support yourself.

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Thats what I was thinking, I don’t think he cheated because he really struggles with taking to other women, but maybe a lady hit on him or something? Otherwise he may just have decided to be more affectionate because he was without me.

He had ended up returning the money after nudges. Sometimes he puts software subscriptions on my card and when I mention it, he gets it paid from from the company accounts immediately. But it’s not consistent.

I’m terrified to be seen as this privileged bratty person I guess so I’m struggling to get myself to stop feeling guilty. I feel guilty that I feel so annoyed about this situation. He always just says things like oh well figure it out or by then I’ll draw a lakh or two for expenses. But he’s not been able to do that now only, let alone me believing about later.

It took me 2.5 years of saving and planning to get the freedom to leave my job for my small business. And being broke terrifies me. He’s talking about going into a marriage without any planning or savings and idk how to trust any of this is going to work for the better. He’s also 6 years older so I’d assume he had absolutely something planned out for his marriage.

Not guaranteed, but probably will at some point. Plus she'll never be able to shake this worry that he will.

I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her why you're not in the bridal party. If you're close friends, you're not unreasonable to have feelings about it. Good luck.

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Dude- I know exactly what you're talking about. Like you can't tell her things because you can't say it on bad days but you're worried it will totally tank good days. That's just not normal bro. After you get to be an old dude like me you'll see how much this kind of relationship affects your stress level. Also, you'll find yourself just bottling up your feelings because you don't feel safe sharing them.

If A is really good friends with your ex, do you really want to be in that position?

Has A mentioned it being awkward that he is friends with your ex?

Yup, if you don't know what the other prefers, talking about it is the only way to learn that.

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They shouldn’t be in a relationship with people who actually like and want sex. It’s just rude.

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