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Many options: They might be hacked or spoofed accounts that she did not create herself, she could be trying to be a social media influencer of some sort, she could have one for business and one for personal, she could be really forgetful and bad at remembering log-ins... LOADS of reasons.

But, more importantly, worrying about what your toxic ex is up to is an utter and complete waste of mental energy. I'd gently encourage spending time getting over her, not figuring out why something that doesn't matter is the way it is, when there is no way for anyone to know.

Oh yeah, way different. My wife is going to tell me why she's pissed off and also tell me about everyone else who pissed her off during the day. 😆

Does your BFs cheat partner's know they were banging? I love when they say "I changed" like they can change overnight. He is delusional. Did you ever discuss why he cheated? Besides that, she was there. How is he changing so the scenario doesn't happen again?

If your spidey senses go off while on vacation, you end it. Let the spouse know what wonderful, supportive, and loving wife he has, and what POS her best friend is.

Be prepared to leave to leave if you have to. You don't deserve this.

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Thanks, and I think the difference has to do with other aspects of her personality too. She's scared of conflict at all and doesn't like talking about her feelings in any way, so when she has an off day she immediately tries to find a way out since she'd rather not handle it at that moment

I was kind of in your shoes when I was I college. Here’s the thing…all of us ladies are still friends 20+ years later and not one of us thinks about weddings anymore as we all realized those are just snapshots in time and hell—most of them are divorced and remarried at this point.

Do what you want to do. Feel your feelings. I personally would not put in the same level of effort for Sarah as Elizabeth though.

It depends on the relationship. I make significantly less than my partner but thats purely down to the life choices I’ve made. I chose to take a long time out to go travelling whereas they’ve had a stable job and so I’m happy for us to split 50/50. The budget for our place was based on what I could afford not them. If we were at the point of discussing marriage it might be a different conversation but for now it works for us.

Sec is really important to some people and for those people being rejected and shat all over for wanting it is damaging to their mental health. If I started dating someone and everything was normal then they were like “oh by the way I’m ace and will never have sex with you” I’d block their number right then. There’s no point.

The moral tribulations of cheaters. Some people have it rough.

In my head I keep rationalising it as compromises everybody has to make. They don’t come from a well off family. So it’s not like there’s any backup.

It started with oh dial down on the expectations you have for this sort of a wedding and that sort of a home or this kind of jewellery. (This is what I’ve grown up with and while it never was a MUST,it is to an extent how I wanted my life to be)

Now that it’s all coming down to money I feel like crap. We don’t see money and get married cuz there’s something called love and emotions and trust and understanding that’s all important. How have I finally gotten all that only to start from ground0 because they’re not wealthy and he’s so bad with money. 😭

I need somebody to tell me if these are major red flags or they sort eventually. Like maybe a phase. 🥲

So then if they're going to stay together she has to put out? That's a pretty shallow and manipulative ultimatum, don't you think?

I agree that the advice here is to have a larger discussion about wants and needs, but you're coming out here with a massive bias and ignorant stance against aromantic individuals. It's not wrong how they do (or don't) feel about sex. All you needed to say was, "She needs to change pills." The rest was extremely, unnecessarily vilifying of OP's gf.

>Sex is one of my favorite things.

Please leave your bias out of this.

That's a major difference with my situation and yours. My wife desperately loves me and really doesn't want our marriage to end. I don't think we would have made it this far if she sometimes said she wanted out. Best of luck bro. You've got the best years of your life in front of you, so make the best of them.

Outing someone is absolutely not okay. Dump your boyfriend and move on. The other kid has nothing to do with it. You need to redirect your anger.

OP,

You want her back and you will do anything to do it. Just let it go, move on and find someone who wants you for you.

By telling her anything would devalue you.

I agree. I think the issue I’m having is this double standard of “we’re not close friends but I still want you to do all this stuff for me”. Like the bachelorette trip, being involved with asking how the planning is going, offering help, and showing up early on the day of the wedding to have a first look with her? Originally, she wanted me to not be a bridesmaid but still spend the whole day getting ready with her and the bridal party.

That’s what I was thinking but I know it’s a stark contrast to what I’m doing for Elizabeth and it’s gonna be awkward because we still run in the same circle. And the other girls expect me to act like one of them but not be one of them. It’s just odd.

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That’s really mean! Military training is extremely tough! She should be proud of you! Not putting you down! It’s a very honourable thing for you to be doing!!

Yeah, right. I get it might be hard to hear about the one night stands, but you can’t let someone’s past effect how you see them now. It’s about the here and now and the kind of person they are towards you now. The amount of sexual partners doesn’t define someone. Noting that in the here and now, she seems like a horrible person! Someone that only cares for herself!

I totally understand about the miscarriage/relationship. That would hurt anyone! I would find it very hard to move past that and get back with someone. Especially considering how she is treating you! You deserve way better! Don’t settle for anyone! She is behaving in a very flippant manner, and that isn’t the kind of person I would ever want to be with!

Yes your bf cheating is a horrible thing to do but outing someone is not the way to go. You know it's dangerous for them to be outed and you still want to do it because you're hurt. Just walk away and be done with it instead like an adult and not some bratty kid. No you wouldn't make them do anything to themself and you say you wouldn't care but it will weigh on you and is it really worth it?

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Sorry but why are you not more mad at your bf???? Why are you messing around this person who clearly has a lot of shit to deal with. It’s your bf that cheated, be mad at him first, the other guy next. Outing this person to their family is dangerous tbh, it’s not a mature thing to do and you’re only doing it to “get back” at someone. It won’t help you and it certainly won’t make you a good person.

I can understand your point of view, but you interacted sexually with another person. I would consider it cheating… idk how you can high your wife’s sex drive, maybe try watch some romantic films or porn together, buying toys, shit like that, but I don’t think that doing the cam was a smart choice.

I don't feel like I can't leave the relationship, I easily can if I just let it end. On her off days, she immediately goes to wanting to break up so she doesn't have to handle it. It's only after I talk to her and help her work through it where she backpedals on wanting to end it. The only reason I do is because I don't want to leave her, I love her more than anything and I've been in many relationships, some toxic and some great, but I've never loved anyone the way I do her. She's perfect and I want to figure this out

I avoided A as a dating prospect for this reason only..but this time we met, I realised there's a chemistry between us. We spoke about my ex as well. And A's opinion was that now that your ex broke up with you and us dating someone else he should have no opinion on your life about who you date or meet. And since my ex had an objection with me being in touch with A, A commented he would stay friends even if my ex had an issue with it