Your anger is misdirected. Please, please, don't out the guy. The repercussions sound awful and I know you are hurting but this is not the way.

Your BF is a cheater. He's for the bin.

Just a point on this part...

'He also told my boyfriend he cross dressed with girl’s lingerie and even wore his brothers girlfriends clothes before. He’s so messed up.'

I don't know if I have read this wrong but it sounds trans-phobic.

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Sounds like you just want to blame her for your incompatibility and then act like a child when we tell you she’s not the problem. She was honest with you right from the beginning. It was you who wasn’t. You knew deep down what you wanted and decided to go for her anyway.

Dude, you just need to let her go and come to terms with the fact that she’s not the right one for you. Respect yourself next time and establish firm boundaries for YOURSELF. You’re a relationship guy. Be clear and upfront going forward that you are looking for a relationship. Don’t entertain anyone who’s not also looking for the same.

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You did break up with her. It isn't cheating. It was only a kiss. She may have been distraught with you breaking up with her and needed validation that she was attractive. It was a just kiss, nothing more.

There's nothing about this that's ok. Pressuring someone into sex isn't something that you do to someone that you care about.

You're a person, not a vibrator, if he's horny tell him that he's got hands.

The issues here are pretty fundamental, it sounds like he barely sees you as a person, it's highly unlikely you're going to be able to 'fix' him. This dude is not ready for a healthy relationship.

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Yes we are just focusing on that now because we can’t always do what we want because we have a kid and when kid sleeps and we are done cleaning up we like to watch something in the few hours we have before going to bed and waking up at 7 am to our son

That’s how I’m inclined to process this. It’s a hard truth to fully swallow.

This have crossed my mind but I would really only need the four things I mentioned in my post and it feels like standard request but I’m not 100% sure. It also wouldn’t need to be everyday/all the time. I just wanna know I’m cared about.

Seriously dude I would overlook you because as you are right now you are just one big ball of red flags. You really need to get your shit together and take some responsibility for yourself. You have no-one but yourself to blame here for why things ended with your Ex, she was right to lay down some boundaries. I've given you some practical and positive advice but there's no helping you when you're intent on whinging and shitting on yourself at every opportunity possible.

Mostly ignore me until I could get a hold of him. I had to beg for a phone call, beg him to return texts etc etc. He'd go away for the weekend and I'd have bad anxiety. He said it was a big problem in our relationship, so I thought fixing it would help.

Now I'm gone with friends a lot and just living independently. Everything has become worse.

What about the week ends?

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😭😭😭 i’ve written so many unsent letters 🫠 but i so need to rip the bandaid

She’s a hoe bro. Leave her

Ahhhhhhhhhh there it is!!! I’ve got a few years on you, so I’m going to say this from experience. Men don’t think like that. They’re thinking hey the old layout worked, let’s just use that! He’s not thinking oh this is a whole new space, it’ll be ours. If the apartment layout was different, you wouldn’t be worrying about this, because he would be asking your opinion.

But because the apartment is the exact same layout, he’s just not thinking along those lines. That’s all. Now, I would suggest you use your voice, and tell him this is our space now, I’d like to talk about the layout. Sometimes men are just….. derp….. they need guidance with this stuff! 😉

Just simply say yeah this layout isn’t working for me, I feel like we both should agree where everything should go. He’ll probably look at you like you have 3 heads, shrug and say ok….. lol

They’re such simple creatures and we are complex, and we think they are the same way, and it’s just not that way! Lol

you’re right…. why am i wasting my own time. not wasting his cause he clearly doesn’t care 😒

My wife and I are both the same age as you (44). Ever since we got married which was 23 years ago we’ve had completely joint finances. We trust each other and are both frugal by nature so it works. We have no rules per se but out of courtesy we’d generally give the other person a heads up on any bigger discretionary expenses regardless of type. Any major expense like a vacation, home remodel or vehicle would be discussed in advance. In terms of roles we used to both work but since we had our oldest who is 13 now she’s been a stay at home mom and I’ve been the income source.

If she harasses him, he needs to report her. https://www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment#:~:text=Although%20the%20law%20doesn't,the%20victim%20being%20fired%20or

It doesn't matter that he is a male. Men can be sexually harassed. We are trained on this at work....at it doesn't matter if we are the recipient of the behavior. We are encouraged to report if we observe activity that makes us uncomfortable.

The BF shouldn't suffer through unwanted attention.

Middle ground - don't ignore her, don't try to talk it out any further. Just act normal around her. Say hi, chat, move on.

It's an ego boost for her.