Why? If you're willing to go out of your way to tell his family about it, you should do the same to your boyfriend. Are you gonna tell your boyfriend's family too? Since you're "so fucking angry right now".

This was helpful. I know you’re right. I know my husband is right. It’s just hard. It’s less hard recognizing that he’s been gaslighting me my entire life, but still difficult nonetheless.

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>there's no right answer

There's a lot of wrong ones, though. If he insists OP pay half of his lifestyle, he's a selfish prick. She should pay what she can afford and not a penny more. Ideally that means he covers the rest, given his income is so much higher, but at minimum it means she's not spending money she doesn't have.

Yeah I try to explain the last bit to them, that things aren’t usually the server’s fault. But they don’t care.

Some people marry people they were already miserable with before they were married!

Iknowright? It’s kinda mind blowing

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I am not allowed to walk around my house bare foot for example. Neither is my daughter. He would get mad and the energy in the house would be awful. So I just do it. I would not If it was just me, but he has a say in what my daughter does, so in solidarity to her I follow the rules so she isn't the only one. He likes the curtains shut in the day time. If I go near the kitchen window and I have the blinds up, he gets mad that neighbours can see me. I am not naked. It's fine. But I try to avoid the energy for my daughter.

He doesn't have enough for alimony. Anything I do, I will have to do alone. Any diagnosis is just my researched opinion.

You will if you ever date someone who has this particular problem it's very common and yes it is largely based on insecurity.

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Thank you, I will try to communicate my frustrations with him more firmly. Don't think he thought I was actually upset the first time.

Get legal advice. There are a number of resources locally that might be able to help you sort through this, if you look up your local community centre they might be able to offer you some sort of counselling to help you sort through it.

From a legal standpoint, here's a checklist.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/how-to-separate1/getting-a-divorce-or-dissolution/#:~:text=You%20can%20call%20Refuge%20or,2000%20247%20at%20any%20time.

When you describe your husband, you mentioned his being on the spectrum - this might influence his behaviour, but being neurodivergent is no excuse to be an arsehole. That is a CHOICE that he is making.

You are absolutely in an emotionally abusive relationship, if your daughter is begging you to get out, it's WAY past time for you to have made a move. Every day you stay with him is giving him another opportunity to hurt and emotionally stunt your daughter.

I absolutely give you props for posting here, this is a hard decision to make, and you've already made the first step. Keep the momentum going, actually make a plan to leave. Figure out what you are entitled to in terms of child support payments and talk to someone in social services about the likelihood of housing support, and what paths to follow.

Good luck.

Trying to seduce your husband has nothing to do with marriage - hers or your husband's. It's all about conquest and winning. If she is successful in getting your husband's attention off you and onto herself, then she wins a new trophy she can display for all the world to see, including her own husband.

Do not assume people have morals. Never assume that because someone is married that they are not also scumbags. This is a competition for her. She is obviously jealous of and threatened by you, and by your relationship with your husband. If she can cause problems between you two, then she feels powerful again.

Since she is a coworker, your husband could file a complaint with HR if her behavior continues. If she is creating a hostile work environment, the company will be required to either remove her from the area your husband works in, or if there are other complaints, remove her from the company completely.

It's nasty little girls like her that make success in the workplace still so difficult for so many women in the 21st Century.

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Then dump him. You're making replies trying to justify how weird you think it is for people to share food. Sharing food isn't weird. So you say "well they do this weird thing too", okay that isn't weird enough, "well they do this weird thing too."

So dump the dude and move on. You obviously have an issue with his sister, so leave. His sister isn't going anywhere, especially if they're as close as you claim they are.

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At his age, I promise you, someone has brought up therapy. He doesn't think he needs to change.

You are beating your head against a wall.

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Reddit isn't letting me see all the comments right now, but one from my notifications asked for more context but I can't reply, because well, I can't see the original comment. But for example, if I say something he'll like repeat it like he's trying to be me, like in a weird voice. Sometimes when I say things or tell him something he'll call me a goofy name, like "you're such a meatball." It's never really more that just small things like that, but it happens a lot.

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What a wild fucking place that it is

Yeah, that sounds like a line to make you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex whenever he does.