My sister cheated on husband #1 with husband #2 and then cheated on him with husband #3. The same month they were married she was hiding her ring and changed into a nicer outfit because my boyfriend invited his brother over.

Is anything else about her behavior "off?" Does she openly flirt with him or anything? It could be that this woman sees that your husband is a stand-up guy amd that you have a solid relationship, and is one of those insecure women who are just trying to see if their situation at home is normal or not. Do you feel comfortable asking her why she is asking you personal questions? Maybe you could ask her if everything is okay at home and approach her that way. It'll give her space to open up to you, and if her intentions are anything else, it gives you an opportunity to set a boundary with something like, "We dont like discussing our relationship casually. If youre having trouble, we dont mind offering our opinion, but otherwise we would prefer to stick to other subjects."

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Pointedly ignoring OP is different than being politely cordial, though.

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Oh sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. What a POS he is.

If you can’t speak the words to your mom, then plz do as the other commenters say and show her this post.

And plz consider making a police report, bc he doesn’t deserve to walk away without consequences.

However, if you can’t bring yourself to do that at this time, don’t worry about it. The important thing is to know that it wasn’t your fault, and to make sure that you get the care and support that you need. Find some support either online or in person, and get some counseling if possible.

The symptoms you’re describing are from the trauma, and one way or another, we must deal with it, or it can affect us for a long time.

Sending love and virtual hugs.

. . . by pointedly ignoring OP and socializing with her husband in front of her?

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Work on your reaction so you respond instead.

Honestly, ya.

It's clearly eating at you.

edit - I meant to add "And I would want to hear about something that was bothering my partner even if it was potentially upsetting." I don't really think this is though. The air mattress disappearing is...peculiar and might make me sort of question that person's intentions but I dunno. If your boyfriend is a mature person he'll see that as not something to be upset or concerned with you about.

I’d stop going out with them. They’re assholes. If you don’t want to go back to the same place and have someone spitting in your burger, ditch these asshats.

Did she just get married or just have a wedding. Two different things these days. Lots of people want the wedding, but don’t remember that it comes with a marriage attached.

You made some bad decisions, your kids are understandably upset because their whole life has come crashing down around them. Your husband is understandably upset because kids that he loved turned out to not be his. I don’t see any way out of this other than the hard way. Admit to your mistakes, take the consequences on the chin and move forward. If you act maturely now you may be able to save a relationship with your children. You need to step up to the plate and provide for your children. Things are going to be rough.

The 'reality' is you don't have to give them any money.

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Trust your intuition always

Does this behavior seem to happen more often or escalate when her husband is present? Something tells me her behavior has more to do with her new husband than your husband.

Well, what is her line of work and what is this secondarily traumatizing content? (without any identifying information)

When I worked as a therapist, this was considered appropriate and healthy. Similarly, lawyers can discuss their cases - within certain guidelines - with professional peers. Nobody is supposed to keep all this bottled up.

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If my partner was video chatting with a friend in a sexual manner I'd consider it cheating.

If he's doing it with a Stanger and paying her I'd still consider it cheating.

It's not the same thing as porn. He interacted with another woman sexually. That fact that he paid her for it doesn't make it any better.

She deserves to know he stepped out of their marriage so she can make a informed decision on if she even wants to try and fix the issue at this point.

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Some people just hit the milestones they feel they're expected to.

Bc she’s a skank bitch and some ppl just get married bc they feel like that’s what they’re supposed to do. I would have him report her to HR. Tell them she’s making him uncomfortable with inappropriate questions that are also getting directed at his wife during work events.