He sounds like a loser and you should leave him

Why are you still with this congenital liar?

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Why hint? You can just say you've heard as much about his ex as you care to - but if he still needs to talk it out, that's what therapy is for.

Some people have an agenda and personality that shouts “I’m an AH!” Stand up to this person and tell her she’s crossing the line into business that’s none of her’s. Then tell her to get lost. Don’t tolerate these types. No yelling and no verbal abuse just stand your ground justifiably.

I know..I just think I want to see it myself.

Just enjoy yourself and don't let your bf pout and ruin your good time.

He is acting like an immature child, in his defense he is one.

The best that I can suggest is to admit to your mistakes and let them know that you love them. Even when/if they rage at you. Tell them the truth of who their father is. Support them in meeting him if he and they want to.

Specifically, a zero sum game; if they win, you lose or vice versa.

The vast majority of people (men and women) who go through that stage come out the other end and settle down. (I mean, if they don't, they are even LESS in a life stage appropriate for a relationship.)

Trust me, you should be well capable of finding someone not currently IN IT.

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Yes, he is more shy but we've known these people for a few years now. He knows them really well and we are all ffiends. We usually keep our touchy relationshipness to ourselves in private so I'm not sure what happened.

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Yes that is exactly what I think is happening. I confronted him about it and told him to just leave me alone already. He proceeded to apologize for not replying to me and told me he's been busy working. & he wont leave my life once and for all. what do i even do about this

What occurs to me is, he may have felt he didn't mix as well with others on the trip as you and they did, and would like a little help "fitting in" socially. Is he generally a little shy? You did say he's more reserved.

>When they both left for college, she broke up with him after 2 years to “focus on herself” and ended up dating another guy at her college after just 3 months.

"Focus on herself" aka the old "It's not you, it's me" routine.

>This is something my guy was hurt by because he said she thought she might’ve been talking/going out with the guy way before they broke up.

He's probably right.

>However sometimes if she comes up in conversation (another one of our friends went to high school with them) he will insult her or be like fuck her.

That's typical in the immediate aftermath, hopefully as time passes they'll stop bringing her up. And you can excuse yourself when they start talking about her.

>I’ve asked about her before and he had nothing but negative things to say, and told me about their intimate life (to be fair, I asked, so this was on me).

Correct. That's on you.

>The first time he brought her up, I defended her because it made me uncomfortable to trash talk another woman who I haven’t met and don’t know so aggressively, and I refused to agree with his negative comments.

Definitely not your place to defend her.

>Now I just let him rant or stay quiet if she is brought up. It’s gotten a lot less over the course of this relationship, but it still happens.

But you don't need to sit there and listen to him, either. Just be straightforward. "Dude, I don't want to hear about your ex." Point out how you two have limited time together anyway, so let's not waste it talking about her.

>He has however told me that the only way he can get over girls is cutting contact completely or hating them, which I feel was fair for this situation since he thinks she cheated on him.

Cutting contact is the right move, and he can hate her if he wants. But to keep talking about her he's only hurting himself. But that's his problem. Let him rant about her with his other friends, not you.

>Im not sure if this means he’s not over her or if he genuinely needs therapy/to talk this out with someone.

He's young and got dumped (from his first and only "adult" relationship), it's natural to be hurt and feel angry. I don't know if it's reached the level of needing therapy yet but, again, that's not your problem, since you're not looking for a serious relationship with him right now anyway. You should just enjoy the remaining time you have with him, for as long as it remains enjoyable. If he can't stop ranting about his ex around you, then you should cut your losses.

>And how do I hint to him that I’m not comfortable hearing about this anymore?

Again, don't hint. Say it.

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Therapy?

Not sure why you’d put inanimate objects in priority over the dogs but…here we are. Maybe I’m nuts but when our dogs need out they need out. Not in 5 min, now.

The yelling thing bugs me too—like if you want to speak to me, come to where I am, don’t holler at me from wherever else in the house. My partner did that at first but is respectful about it now.

Kind of seems to me you guys should do some couples counseling and find a better path forward.

You are directing righteous rage too narrowly. You are willing to try to hurt this person yet showing grace and acceptance to your bf.

This makes you arbitrary and likely just enables you to keep some relationship going that you know should be ended.

Definitely trying to work on responding more calmly. I apologized for yelling and he said I just need to accept that I was 100% in the wrong and I refuse to do that.

You can stop him stealing from you by breaking up with him. This has gone way too far.