Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

EjjabaMarie t1_jeh4an1 wrote

Reply to comment by yuko-mo-me in husband's coworker ( F30) asking my husband why he's so protective of me (f 29) by [deleted]

Marriage doesn’t make it a happy or healthy relationship, it just means they are married. Also, there are a lot of people who think that marriage/a baby will “fix” an unhealthy or broken relationship.

I can’t say that she’s “after” your husband, but her behavior isn’t okay and your gut is picking up in these cues. Keep communicating with your husband about how she makes you both feel and focus on your marriage. He might have to go to HR about her if she doesn’t stop.

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thisisrandom801 t1_jeh49cn wrote

Reply to husband's coworker ( F30) asking my husband why he's so protective of me (f 29) by [deleted]

*THERE IS SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THIS GIRL AND YOUR INTUITION KNOWS IT*

What she's doing isn't normal and is borne of insecurity, poor boundaries and whatever other issues she might be subscribing to.

She see's things about you and your relationship she wants for herself and can't understand why you have it and she doesn't- why you have your man, and why she's got hers.

Regardless, doesn't sound like you or your husband are qualified or interested in coaching her through whatever's going on, so it's best to keep your distance from her and let her find another woman's husband to fixate on.

Feeling uncomfy is the first red flag we've got that who's around us shouldn't be there and it's really not worth the energy finding out why or questioning ourselves about it. Give her enough time and she'll show you why you're right to be guarded around her.

EDIT- LMAO totally wrong sub. I get a lil too invested sometimes. Whoops /grimace

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reluctantdonkey t1_jeh45vo wrote

Reply to comment by [deleted] in [26M] [24F] she was only dating me for sex and I feel kinda disgusted by throwRA283108

No. She wouldn't have been.

You could have been Harry Fucking Styles with a PhD and she'd still want to be out there living an unattached life.

THIS. ISN'T. ABOUT. YOU.

Ps. I really have a ton of respect, honestly, for how she handled this whole thing, because holy heck if you telescoped your atttachement issues to her as much as you have here, she probably had a LOT of rightful concerns about how to enforce her boundaries.

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AutoModerator t1_jeh445i wrote

Reply to Father (M76) has dementia. His brother (M74) has passed away. Do we tell him? (This is not asking for medical advice.) by [deleted]

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jrl_iblogalot t1_jeh443s wrote

Reply to comment by IMASolitaryMan in Should I M19 give a second chance to my girlfriend? (F19) by IMASolitaryMan

>Actually I didn't met her a month ago, we dated serious one month ago. We met each other on a period of two months, still little.

One month, two months, that doesn't change a thing I said.

>She already knew this guy and said that when we started dating she stopped talking to him, still hard to believe though.

This extra info is also irrelevant in regards to my advice.

> I think you are right.

That's all you really needed to say.

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AutoModerator t1_jeh43l5 wrote

Reply to I (36M) fucked up last night and might have ruined my relationship with my (33F) girlfriend. by [deleted]

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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1

Kooky_Protection_334 t1_jeh3rc1 wrote

Reply to comment by [deleted] in [26M] [24F] she was only dating me for sex and I feel kinda disgusted by throwRA283108

This is cliché but now often the saying "it's not you it's me" is actually true. It's so easy to think there is something wrong with you when things don't go right but really there usually isn't anything wrong with you and it truly is the other person. In your case she liked to party and do coke (you really want to be with someone who uses coke??). She never told you she wanted something serious and you said you weren't sure. So really no one lied to anyone here. She probably got the feeling that you were starting to get interested in more (nothig wrong with that) and realized she just wasn't. So nothing you did except for possibly wanting more.

I lost a few really good friendships and I still don't know why. And of course my mind blames myself first because if this something I did maybe I can fix it. We don't have control over how other feel or think. We can't make them want to be our friend or lover. We can do everything right amd still not be their person.

Sounds like you have some self esteem issues/anxiety. If you have access to therapy that might be a good palce to start. I've been there done that and therapy was definitely very helpful

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IMASolitaryMan OP t1_jeh3pzn wrote

Reply to comment by jrl_iblogalot in Should I M19 give a second chance to my girlfriend? (F19) by IMASolitaryMan

Thanks a lot. Actually I didn't met her a month ago, we dated serious one month ago. We met each other on a period of two months, still little. She already knew this guy and said that when we started dating she stopped talking to him, still hard to believe though. I think you are right. I'm deceiving myself with this idea of "Just a mistake". I should move on

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UnsightlyFuzz t1_jeh3gb6 wrote

Reply to My (40f) husband (45m) has found out my kids aren’t his by throwra44s

Lady, you not only cheated on your husband, but you did it continuously over a period of years and several pregnancies. How can you fix your poor relationships? How about developing some integrity and a sense of what is morally right or wrong?

By the way, public school is free. Enroll them there.

By the way #2, in a lot of jurisdictions, children born to a woman while married are considered legally the responsibility of the husband whether or not he biologically fathered them. Consult a lawyer. You may be able to collect child support on these kids even though they are not your ex's. Of course he won't be thrilled by that; but you need to meet your children's financial needs. You have already failed their emotional needs.

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