You know what, i like this sentiment better. Ofc if there are too many things you disagree on, then it's best to move on. But communication, and actively working on problems is the way to go.

Yeah, definitely should have proofread it a third time before posting. Keeping the typo.

I disagree. There are plenty of people of all genders in equal amounts with that tolerance.

So long as both parties are committed to working on/toward the relationship, they should be successful.

Yes, ultimately it is a dealbreaker because there will come a time when they will want to explore & the other person won’t. One good way to discover this is to ask a potential partner what they hope their life will be like in 5 years. It’s the same with libido- ultimately the relationship won’t last without someone becoming resentful of the other partner that they feel is limiting them

[removed]

Libido should also be part of this as well. Libido mismatch is a serious issue in a lot of relationships

I don’t necessarily think that clinical psychology training does a great job of teaching “mentalization”. The people who are good at it were good from the outset

That’s not love that is codependency

love is when your partners happiness is necessary for you to be happy. if you are stuck in a situation where one of you will be unhappy due to conflicting goals then love would be pretty miserable.

I have seen this sentiment being echoed by lots of people here, and it genuinely sounds like solid advice.

My only question is : where do you draw the line and say you're incompatible ? Surely two people can't be expected to look eye to eye on every single matter. And if there are differences, how many should be allowed before the question of compatibility arises.

Maybe she wants to roam the world, but you wanna get settled, and you two agree on everything else. Is that a deal breaker ?

Interesting to see how gender plays into it. I imagine, in a lot of instances, a man has a higher tolerance for their partner not having as lofty ambitions than vice versa.

[removed]

[deleted]

The job market in our country it's an hellscape , do you think that we're it that easy we wouldn't already have done that?

I would like to know if having gone through analysis or therapy oneself would increase mentalization. The article suggests that age is a factor in mentalization scores. If it is just a matter of life experience then undergoing therapy yourself should your ability to understand other peoples internal processes.

You used to have to go through your own therapy to become a psychiatrist, but I don't know if that is part of education in clinical psychology.

[deleted]

My guess? Conditioned response.

Take a pill>chemical changes>feel better.

Do that for a few years, and then you can probably remove the middle step to some degree

[removed]

[removed]

I know it’s a typo but the thought of making a “party of keeping a house clean” sounds more fun and almost unhateable!

My cousin and the mother of hopefully his only child with her have a relationship like this. She's a psycho that dreams of the things she sees on social media. She's also completely useless and lazy. Her only life skills up to this point have been providing sex to whomever pays the rent on her dad's rental house, drinking, and smoking more weed than the average oompa loompa.

[removed]

One of the worst mistakes we make about other people is assuming that other brains even work like our own does.

There are ethical codes of conduct for psychologists - two of them being, not doing clients harm and doing what’s in the clients best interest. If a student (or any practitioner) is violating them then their ability to graduate / hold a license is on the line. But sociopaths are going to do what they do no matter what school they’re in.