Aren’t these known as values?

>Maybe she wants to roam the world, but you wanna get settled, and you two agree on everything else. Is that a deal breaker ?

This was our exact situation. It should have been a deal breaker. We settled down. This was almost 19 years ago. I still don't think she's ever forgiven me for "ruining her plans to travel the world". It caused years and years of resentment, and left her in a major depression.

It doesn’t matter who I tell. Doesn’t make me feel any better about any of it. I’m just one of those people that doesn’t get anything from therapy. Drug me.

Because unless you can demonstrate that a higher percentage of over-estimators specifically become psychologists the probability is an equal number of under-estimators exist. They balance out in the statistical wash.

Go read around r/deadbedrooms for a bit. You will find that it is absolutely not true that men always want sex. You will find many, many women (or gay men) there lamenting the fact that their husbands/boyfriends never want sex.

Well, first of all. They are not demonstrating causality with this study because the only scientific method to do that is through multiple confirming double blind randomized controlled trials ("RCT"). That's sort of my point in my previous posts.

If there is a method to test causality of the placebo effect, that's the only way to go about it. (I'm a statistician, btw, that's why I believe this to be the case.)

The placebo in RCTs isn't given to prove the placebo effect exists. It's given to create a control group on the presumption that the placebo effect may exist. It's given to account for the possibility of a placebo effect.

I'm not really sure how to test the causality of the placebo effect but, i would point out that there really isn't any reason to presume that there is a singular cause to the placebo effect. And, asking me to do that in relation to this study is shifting the burden of proof. It's not on me to prove that. It's on the authors of this study to demonstrate that they have.

No, it wasn’t the color. The color didn’t matter at all.

It was the presence of the people going to a lot of work to paint the office. Each time they came, it was a shot in the arm.

The changing lights aren’t going to do that.

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Honestly I'd suggest you look into volunteering with assisted living facilities. My uncle was in one for years due to his health concerns and the number of lovely people abandoned there is heartbreaking.

You can definitely find some sharp minds and lonely hearts who will live for your visits.

The exercise is the problem: this is literally how you work through any uncomfortable feelings. You share them in any form and this is how people get relief.

actually, this was a thing in my life as a kid. mom and her friends would sometimes spend a day helping each other with heavy cleaning. accompanied by lunch, and a coffee break or two.

There are plenty of cluster B personalities out there

Well humans are social creatures and despite being more connected than ever, it almost feels like never enough people reach out to those that might be interested in group activities.

I wonder if there's any studies on group dynamics, happiness among friends, and how they feel with "Stranger Engagement"

idk, I've traveled a bit without husband but with his agreement, and we're still happy together (41 years in August).

With personal experience in mind I'm also interested in how values factor in, because in my mind values allow for flexibility in a way that goals don't. So like, having similar values regarding how you live (eg. vegan/hunting; modestly/finer things; religious/not). There is a lot more flexibility in aiming to be a non-religious vegan household living modestly than in aiming to have 3 kids, 2 cars, and a house by 30.

Eta: I don't mean that goals don't matter btw. They really, really do. I mean I'm curious how goals and values combined impact a relationship.

I think what they'd do with that information is paint the walls White, and then installing LEDs along the walls to give them the appearance of new colors.

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so new article of "WHO COULD BELIVE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!": saying people "it's fine" works?

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I was told of a study done to find what color of paint improved morale and productivity. So they’d come in and repaint the same office frequently. They discovered it wasn’t the paint color. It was the act of painting and spiffing up the office.

Exactly. She’ll supposedly take care of the dog which means she’ll give them treats and cuddle with them.

At a minimum, you need to agree around the things that one person in the partnership can’t have without the other person. For reasonably conventional marriages, kids are the key example. With home prices the way they are, home ownership may be another. Monogamy also seems like it fits the description.

Depending on your disposable income, it may be possible to have some dreams, like a sports car or a horse, that are personal treats that the partner doesn’t pay for or care about. With less disposable income, those things might crowd out essentials, though.

This is mostly just a bad headline imo. The way they measured "training" was 1st versus 4th year psychology students.

However, my psych undergrad focused on psych research and literature, not counselling skills.

The article concludes saying that this study highlights the need for specific training around perspective taking and empathy for counselors, rather than hoping you just suddenly develop mentalization skills after reading 300 articles on abnormal psych or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I can read about rats pulling levers all day long, but I don't expect that to make me any better at helping a client breathe through a panic attack.