Submitted by comingforyourpickle t3_ye2p6w in tifu
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I (20F) have been with my partner (22M) for a year. I know it’s not been long but in that time we have lived together for almost all of it. I had a difficult situation with where I stayed and he was trying to move out to so we spent almost everyday together and stayed at each others houses until I eventually moved in with him.
Now this started circling around February time , I had said there’s a cool way to view your Instagram activity and wanted to show him not thinking anything bad or suspicious in the slightest however he started acting weird and declining. Long story short I found out he was stalking his ex , after the initial shock I thought well let’s be honest we all have snooped. Maybe a month or two later I was taking a selfie on his snapchat and notice some girls name I never heard before. I hand him the phone back and start jokingly asking if there’s anything he wants to tel me. And that’s how I found out his ex has been in contact with him for roughly a week. Now this was a different ex but that’s quite a inconvenience he didn’t bother mentioning it. We had a talk I stated my boundary clearly and that was that. As far as I’m aware she hasn’t contacted him.
Well it just feels like one thing after another. We have finally moved out I’m going through my bank , trying to set everything up and I remember we had created a spreadsheet day before breaking down our finances and bills etc. I loaded up his computer , now to avoid confusion I have been on his computer before for Netflix and stuff it was never a issue , I try searching for the spreadsheet but geniuenly cannot find it. I’m looking through the files and find one called pictures, I thought all his cute baby photos will be there and his pets too. I start looking through them seeing him younger some family and work photos. I scroll down and I’m met with screenshots of naked girls one of them being his friend ( her photo was only of her shoulder and face with no bra on, looked more like use your imagination kinda thing) and among them many photos of his ex naked. None of them were taken since we started dating and I understand there was a past before us. We spoke about it he said he had feelings for his friend way before we met and they had talked about it and decided to stay friends. He deleted all the pictures.
This is the part I think I’m the asshole. I have a eating disorder and things that have happened in our relationship (some because of him some not) that have made me quite insecure about my body. The girls he had pictures of and his ex’s were very skinny and I’m more towards the chubby side.I am healthy but at some point I stopped being confident in myself. This has made me be more cautious , convincing myself he’s just with me because it’s easier. Today I went through his profile on Twitter and noticed he recently followed a onlfas account and quite a lot of his following on instagram too is girls who make onlfan content.
I don’t know what to think. We’ve spoken about it before and he must think I don’t notice it. He’s honestly a really good guy , he has done a lot for me and I can tell he truely cares about me. I don’t think he would ever cheat on me , I don’t even think he speaks to other woman. He’s reassured me so many times , I’ve made mean comments about his behaviour and even went through his social media before.
I just feel like I’ve made my boundary clear and it’s been broken so many times.
TL;DR TIFU by looking through partners things and now feeling like shit.
Edit : okay just to clarify haha , I wasn’t snooping at the time I was on his computer. I could use it, never was a problem. I didn’t have any reason to be snooping at the time. I’m not “lying” , I was curious there would be family pictures , maybe cute pictures of him growing up and pictures of his cats. And majority of them were It’d be fine if it was a photo album tho right ? But a folder is off limit? . Y’all weird for assuming that.