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unwholesome_coxcomb t1_iybx38h wrote

You didn't fuck up. You felt emotions. It's okay to feel and express emotions.

I agree with others who suggested speaking with a therapist to help you work through and process your emotions. I'm sorry for what happened to you. :(

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SabrinaBrna OP t1_iyf2ann wrote

I’ve tried. Every therapist has turned me down after one session because A) I can’t be seen when talking. Or else I break down and just cry. So they have to face the wall B) the trauma was so prolonged and ingrained that trying to find healthy coping mechanisms is hindered by the fact that my brain literally rewired itself to handle the trauma the best way it could and it cannot be changed

Edit: a word

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