Submitted by MrLightningB0lt t3_z61ueo in tifu
Just weeks ago I was still a 26 y/o virgin, had been single for over 7 years, it was just that I decided to focus on other things, plus it's unusual for me to really like a girl. But I consumed a lot of porn, almost on a daily basis, and as you may know, it creates that necessity to comsume more extreme things gradually to get aroused. So I finally found a girl which I really like and she likes me back, after some weeks of dating we are getting intimate in my house but when the time finally came I couldn't get hard, even though I usually get hard in inappropriate times when we're kissing somewhere else. She was really supportive and told me nice things, and that we could do it when I was ready, so we just cuddled and went to eat. That same day we decided to give it another chance and I managed to do it but was concentraring the entire time not to lose it.
Two weeks later we are doing it again, and I could do it at first (though concentrating really hard) but after some interruption I lost it and couldn't get it up again. This time she looked a bit sad and after I insisted a little she tells me if I don't really like her that much and that she is insecure and is not really feeling desired, so I feel really bad because I know she is not the problem and I like her really much and don't want her to think that kind of stuff.
Now, I think I'm not physically disfunctional because I still get hard watching porn and when we are kissing, it's just when that time comes that I can't get hard, and I don't really know why, I have some insecurities so I may get nervous, but my strongest theory is because of the porn I mentioned earlier, I researched a little and found some things that link it to ED.
Tl;dr: I made my GF feel bad because I couldn't get hard, and I think it's because of porn adiction.
Edit: I forgot to say that I'm going to cut all porn and not masturbate, though I don't know how long it will take to get my brain rewired, but I really like her and want to have a healthy relationship with her.
2nd Edit: I just googled death grip syndrome and I think I have it too, forgot to say that the two times I could do it with her I never even came close to orgasm, and that's another thing she told me made her insecure, she thinks she's not making me feel good enough.
3rd Edit: Thanks to everyone for your comments, I honestly didn't expect this amount of comments and support, and I assure you I'm taking the time to read them all even if I don't reply each of them.