Submitted by throwaway78_85 t3_zi5u6n in tifu
Edit: I'm gonna answer some questions to clear up a few misconceptions.
I go commando when I wear leggings, but I don't wear leggings all the time. I'm not commando as often as this story probably makes it seem, but the visual marker of me having leggings on definitely played a role in skipping over pulling down undies. I've seen a few people raise concerns over discharge and periods, and I want to say that obviously, I am not going commando on days that I have high amounts of discharge or am on my period. I may be silly, but I'm not stupid.
You guys also have to realize the sheer urgency in which I had to use the bathroom. This was a full-on emergency, and I had made it worse because I couldn't go immediately. I was basically releasing before I completely sat down, so I didn't really have time to remember, pull down undies, and go.
My boyfriend knows now, and he has not stopped making fun of me for it. I am now shit girl. fml.
Of course, I don't expect y'all to blindly believe an internet story. This was a funny thing that happened to me, and I wanted to share. Just look at the number of people that have had this EXACT thing happen to them in the comments. Listen, I wish I knew how to prove the validity of this story. If anyone has any ideas, I'll take 'em.
Throwaway account because the digital footprint I'm about to make with this one is insane.
This all started yesterday, when my boyfriend decided that he wanted me to take his virginity. I wanted the experience to be as special as possible, so I bought a cute little red thong from Walmart. It was like 20 dollars, and it was pretty nice for a Walmart thong. I buy it, I wear it, we have a great night.
This morning, before I go into work, he dares me to wear the same pretty red thong all day as a sort of humiliation thing. That's fine with me! It's not like anyone will notice, I'm gonna be wearing opaque leggings all day.
It's halfway through the day, and I've forgotten that I'm even wearing it. Great! But suddenly, I started to feel this deep rumbling in my gut. I had eaten some questionable tuna salad before heading into work, and it had decided to turn that question into a very clear answer.
At this point, I'm at work, so I have to finish the task at hand before I can make a speedy escape to the staff bathroom. Once I'm done, I'm almost doubled over by the intense pressure rising in my intestines. I am hearing gurgle after gurgle, bubble after bubble, and I'm definitely starting to feel things moving around in there. I get to the bathroom and, in a swift move, pull down my pants to relieve myself. I let it all out. It feels great and smells terrible. We're talking full on Hershey Squirts. The type that makes you want to climb the walls of the bathroom in order to make it stop. I'm fighting for my life within these 4 steel stall walls, and there's nobody coming to help.
And then I realize.
I had pulled down my pants, yes, but this pretty, lacy little thong was still tucked neatly betwixt the cheeks. I usually go commando when wearing leggings to eliminate panty lines, so I didn't think anything of it until I realized that I had essentially strained my feces through this little piece of cheesecloth.
For a long time, I just sat in shock. I couldn't believe that I had actually shat my underpants. But then, I got to work. I waited until the restroom was completely empty, and then i peeled off my shoes and leggings. I pulled the thong off, careful to keep it from touching anything in the stall. Then, I wrapped it in a HUGE wad of toilet paper and put it into the little wastebasket for feminine hygiene products. I pulled up my leggings, and here I am, walking through my job, commando as always, because I actually shat my pants.
TL;DR: I tried to be cute and bought a thong to wear for my boyfriend, and I ended up creating a very (literally) shitty situation for myself.