Submitted by PMmeNudesOfNudes t3_zjwsx4 in tifu
This actually happened in the summer of 2020 while we were in lockdown (in UK), but it never occurred to me that it could be a post on here until today.
So during the lockdown, I (23 M) was stuck in a tiny flat with my girlfriend. I don't remember exactly why, but I asked her if I could use her Veet (hair removal cream) to get rid of my ass crack hair. She said yes, so I laid down on my front while she applied the cream, wiped it off a few minutes later and then washed everything down. All went well at the time... it felt great. Wiping my ass while being bald down there was just an amazing experience.
Anyway... fast forward to a week later, I start feeling some pain in what I thought at the time, was my lower back. My GF and I had just done a big deep clean of our flat, so I thought I might have twinged something while hoovering etc. A few days pass and the pain gets worse and worse. I then ask my GF to have a look to see if she can see any bruising on my lower back, she checked and saw what I can only describe as a golf ball growing on the top-inside of my ass crack.
I ended up calling 111 (in the UK, that's a number for non-emergency medical help), and they tell me I need to go to the hospital. So I go over to A&E (ER), and have a few different people inspect and feel my crack, before being sent to another wing to a specialist. They tell me that the Veet caused an ingrown hair, which then got infected and caused an abscess to grow. The positioning of it was the worst, as it was on the inside of my crack, and it was constantly rubbing and touching the other side of my crack... it didn't matter if I was standing or sitting, I was in constant extreme pain.
They did some blood tests to see if the infection had spread (it hadn't) and decided I needed to go into surgery (while they put me to sleep), to open and drain the abscess. The story is not over here, the surgery went well, as soon as I woke up the pain was completely gone. It was slightly annoying as they cannot stitch up the incision, they had to leave it to heal from the inside out. This meant I had to go back every day for about 2 months for them to re-dress the wound. Although that's slightly annoying, the pain was gone, so I was happy.
Anyway.... remember I said they did some blood tests? A few days later, my arm (where they took the blood from) started hurting and bruising quite badly. After speaking to a few nurses, they said bruising can happen if the needle hit a nerve, but it should go down in a few days. A few days later, the bruising did not go down and my arm started swelling. I'll save your eyes from the pictures (which I do have), of my ass, but I'll show you my arm after a week:
I ended up having to back to A&E and have an ultrasound as they thought it might have caused a blood clot. Luckily it hadn't, and although for a week my arm was locked in a 90-degree position, it did finally go down. All this, because I wanted a clean wipe!
TL;DR: I used hair removal cream on my ass crack, it caused an ingrown hair which then got infected and I had a golfball-sized abscess growing in my crack. Needed to go into surgery to get it removed. Then my arm got bruised to shit from the blood test they did on me before surgery.