Submitted by Unlikely-Mud473 t3_zsqkxc in tifu
Today is my one year marriage anniversary. I made him breakfast in bed, and later he made me a late breakfast. He said he made his “famous eggs”. Apparently that just means he puts in a shit ton of different cheese and bacon. There was a lot of bacon so I didn’t really taste all the cheese. And I haven’t ate eggs in a while so maybe I did taste the cheese but thought that’s what eggs taste like…
I’m lactose intolerant. Most of the time I just ignore it and run to the bathroom later. I didn’t know there was cheese and a reason to run.
I started getting gassy. Most were silent. But I thought maybe my body just doesn’t like eggs. I continued watching our cooking show. I let another one rip, thought it would be silent. No it was loud and evil. My husband joked “damn did you shit yourself?”
I did.
Immediately after he said that I felt it slip out. Not even a small shart. I full on shit myself.
I’m now hiding in the bathroom. my fancy underwear is toast.
Ofc this would happen
TLDR: I ate cheese and shat my pants
Edit: I myself forget I’m lactose a lot, I don’t make a big deal out of it. I forget he doesn’t like pork sometimes. He forgot. He just made something that he’s been making for years. It’s okay.
Also I love cheese. He doesn’t really know how extensive my ass explosions are. But I eat a lot of cheese. He just forgot I have to know so I can go to the bathroomi
Edit 2: I meant he doesn’t like pork chops, it’s a texture thing. I forgot pork chops and bacon both come from a pig…