Submitted by ResoluteHobo t3_zu068n in tifu
I am unsure if this is a TIFU or a LWIFUBSIMAETWCIACT (Last Week I Fucked Up By Setting In Motion An Event That Would Culminate In A Conclusion Today), but today was the problem day.
Last week I purchased an adult toy for myself. One of those automatic masturbators, the one that mechanically moves a toy up and down to do the thing. I got the missed delivery card, and popped by after work the following day, excited to have a Christmas long weekend to enjoy the fruits of my $400 purchase.
When I arrived at the post office to collect, a very cute girl at the counter suggested I should meet her by the rear entrance where large packages are dropped off. It shouldn't have been that large, but I went around.
I soon found out why.
She was a little red in the face when she said that the packaging my item was in was poor, and had mostly fallen away to reveal an (she stuttered) "item of.. adult nature." I immediately went white as a ghost as she handed me the box. A very thin cardboard box was all that sat between the toy and the world from seeing it, and conveniently the part that was torn up and only taped back with clear tape was the bit with the titties and the photo of the toy vagina.
She said she thought I would appreciate not carrying it through the packed pre-Christmas rush in the office itself. She was right. I said something about appreciating her discretion, and high-tailed it out of there.
I'll need to find a new post office.
tl;dr I bought an adult toy and a bunch of people saw it.