Of course this wasn’t actually today but was in fact a few weeks ago. My roommates and I were sitting on the couch after taking some rips and were just chatting. I, being absolutely zooted, turned to my roommate and asked him what he thinks about to keep himself from nutting when he and his girlfriend do the deed. And to which he gave a quite reasonable answer of, “I just stare at a wall and let my mind go blank.”
Where this takes a horrible turn is when he asked me the same thing. At which point I turned to him and confessed that I think about Tarzan. Specifically the part of the movie when Tarzan is sliding down the vines and the song “Son of Man” is playing in the background. I can’t say for certain why this image always pops up in my head, but it has never failed me so far.
Cue the eruption of laughter as all of my roommates are baffled by my method. Everyone immediately started looking up the video on YouTube and showing me the clip of Tarzan sliding down the vines, which made me very flaccid indeed.
In the weeks after, every time I bring my girlfriend to our house and go upstairs, my phone is bombarded with messages from my roommates sending me gifs of Tarzan sliding down the vines. I’m worried that this will not end anytime soon, as I haven’t been able to get it up ever since.
TLDR : I told my roommates that I think about Tarzan to keep myself from nutting too early.