Submitted by PurpleDuck11 t3_10bxezv in tifu
This just happened last night. I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and before the server took our order, I went to the bathroom. When I got back to sit down, my boyfriend’s phone was open on the table and I happened to notice a message from someone with red hearts. I honestly at first thought nothing of it. I wasn’t even trying to look at his phone, it just happened to be right there. I’m not a jealous person, he’s never given me any reason to think he’s cheating and we have a very healthy relationship. I do however struggle with intrusive thoughts and trauma from from people burning me in the past. I’ve been in therapy and I’ve made a lot of progress and haven’t had any major episodes in a long time.
But when my boyfriend immediately picked up his phone and says “I have to text my boss real quick” I started to panic. I tried to tell myself I was being irrational. He literally could have had to text his boss and just remembered at that moment and the hearts could have been from his mom for all I know. So I told myself to let it go because like I said, he’s never given me a reason to doubt him and we’ve always had a very trusting relationship…. But for some reason every single thing he said & did after that sent me into a spiral. I started rapidly switching between thinking I was being irrational for no reason whatsoever to thinking he’s secretly a narcissist.
Eventually it got to the point where I was on the verge of tears. And not because I genuinely thought he was cheating on me, but because I could feel myself spiraling and it was upsetting considering I hadn’t had an episode like this in years. I didn’t want to say anything to him cause I felt stupid, but knew if I didn’t talk to him about it, it was going to eat me up inside, regardless of how irrational I knew my thinking was.
So I told him what I saw and how I was feeling and he immediately grabbed his phone and showed me every person he’s talked to today….. but it turned out that the hearts were actually on a text from me. Before I went to the bathroom I had texted him my order so that he could tell the server if he came while I was gone, which I completely forgot about. Yeah, I’m a fucking idiot. I apologized 100 times and told him I truly didn’t think he was cheating, but I definitely let the intrusive thoughts win that time. He wasn’t upset and we laughed about it and had a great rest of our night.
TLDR: I glanced over at my boyfriends phone and saw hearts and thought he might have been texting another girl only to find out that the hearts were from me
Edit: I was not expecting this to blow up like it did (I know that’s what everyone says lol) and it’s kind of overwhelming trying to respond to everyone. But I wanted to say thanks to everyone that had something kind and supportive to say and that understood that this was a case of solid communication and not straight up accusation. I was just trying to tell a funny story and most of you got that so thank you. I also wanted to clarify for people asking how I forgot so quickly that I sent the hearts, I didn’t just send the hearts as I was walking to the bathroom, only my food order. The hearts were further up in the texts from earlier that day. I should have specified that. I am quite forgetful regardless though.