There's a lot of judgmental people in this subreddit. It sucks you are going through this. I hope you get through it and move on with your life. Best of luck.

Take the win.

You now have some valuable learning that will help you when you defend.

Congratulations.

Twenty years from now no one will know this story. Others will be Dr. Askingrytquestions for help and never know this happened. Congrats!

So they fuck kids, but think jokes are too far? Their priorities are all fucked up.

Holy shitsticks. Did you just use the words ‘gave it up to you’ to describe the adult man statutorily raping a teenager, who ALSO happens to be his very newly ex’s NIECE?!

I am so concerned for you. Please seek therapy and tell them what you said here.

Candidacy.

And I totally feel you, for the first 4 years of my thesis I had issues with worrying about others thoughts of me until an upper year student heard me talk and said to me "what makes you convinced they are spending time thinking about that aspect about you, rather than something else."

I would be willing to bet that if the professors thought anything, it was for a fleeting moment. They are in your field because they love the topic, and they are professors because they love to teach, and they are YOUR committee specifically because they like you and want to watch you grow and see who you will become. I doubt any of them are passing negative judgment about you, and if they are, they will give you constructive feedback because they want to help you and watch you grow and thrive!

Edit1: I forgot to mention, WAY TO GO ACHIEVING CANDIDACY! This is an accomplishment that only a small percentage of the world attempt and achieve. You are well on your way to adding to humanities knowledge!

Thank you!!

I needed some outside perspective, that's why posted.

>Mine lasted at least 2 hrs

really, was it candidacy or defence?

> , but next time I would recommend not altering your state of mind with medications/substances, the risk is too great.

yeah, some lessons learned for the long term but for the short term, I really need to get rid of this embarrassment somehow. I am constantly thinking about what others r thinking of me.

Just fuck and get it over with

You made a joke about it. Maybe that’s why?

It’s really not as bad as it feels! i’d just think you had a lot to say about your research and there’s nothing wrong with that. They could have stopped you at any time.

In a while you’ll see it as a funny story! I doubt anyone will even think about it tomorrow. They’re not worrying about it so you don’t need to either. Also you passed, which it great! well done

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Info: is this the aunt who's ex op slept with?

40 mins???!!! Mine lasted at least 2 hrs, I'm surprised yours was expected to be so short. Anywho, 2x the time doesn't seem significant to me given that the expectation was that it be so short. Also, those are soft limits, usually put in place by the program to give some guidance, as long as your committee stayed engaged and didn't complain, then they were onboard with it continuing at the pace it was, but next time I would recommend not altering your state of mind with medications/substances, the risk is too great.

That's not a boyfriend, it's a drinking buddy.

https://youtu.be/VHQBgOZKk6k

At least it let her out. I had a vehicle that locked from the inside as well as the outside.

They didn't say anything except that one of the jury members remarked that this was the longest candidacy talk he has ever been to.

No one watches the video but some of my colleagues were present, so they have something funny to talk about me I guess and I am left with this embarrassing memory.

They just think you were a little disorganized, and probably zoned out for a big part of it. You passed.

If they said anything it was probably that they were glad you finished because they stopped listening 10 minutes in and wanted to get to lunch.

Does anybody watch those videos? How many have you watched?

The lack of coercion doesn’t erase a power dynamic

yeah, some lessons learned.

Commenting because you asked.

Never deviate from your normal routine during important events. Your normal routine should be enough to get you through whatever your are doing: competitions, exams, etc. if it isn’t enough, change it, but don’t change things the day of. Doing so runs the risk of introducing change that can negatively affect you. Even things like eating breakfast before your exams (when you don’t normally do so) could give you IBS or taking medication that you don’t normally use can harm your ability to focus or forget things.

>I’m wondering why you would double up on your medication before a key presentation if you’d never done it before. Seems silly.

Anxiety makes us do silly stuff and more so the impulsive desire to get rid of it.

You passed. A win is a win. I’m wondering why you would double up on your medication before a key presentation if you’d never done it before. Seems silly.

Little did you know, he knew the context.