Looks like Amazon and B&N won't have copies until May 2023... I'll add it to my watchlist.

I'm not seeing the fu here. Sounds like you have great parents. Both my parents are gone now but my mom was the coolest mother ever. She always said I could ask her anything and I did and we had the best relationship because of it.

Were there embarrassing moments, for me, sure, my mom always laughed them off and eventually, so did I. I miss her very much, thanks for the memory.

This is the way

As you can see, the atrocity would have been that being used as wallpaper ;)

Story is probably gonna go like this :

Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house

everyone was drunk

even the mouse.

With mom at the whore house

and dad smokin grass

I settled down

for a nice piece of ass

when out on the lawn

arose such a clatter

I sprang from my piece

to see what was the matter

and out on the lawn

I seen some big dick

and I knew in a moment

it must be St.Nick

he flew down my chimney like a bat out of hell

and i knew in a moment

the fucker had fell

He filled all our stocking with pretzels and beer

and a big rubber dick for my brother,

the non-binary person with the tight rear

then he rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart

the son of a bitch blew my chimney apart

cussing and cursing as he rode out of sight.

pissing on all

having one hell of a night.

Buddy, it's just a day on the calendar.

If you need to take that day to chill out, those that love you will understand and those that don't understand can get fucked.

Maybe take some time and go through the depression checklist... You may be suffering more than you realise

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My grandma once announced to me and some of my cousins and her daughters that she read 50 Shades and it was boring and unimpressive. We all nearly died and she was shrugging it off like it was no big deal. None of us expected her to even know about it let alone having read it… LET ALONE HAVING READ IT AND FOUND IT BORING AND VERY UNDERWHELMING

Granted she and Grandpa made 13 babies together so I guess they kept things fresh between them 😝

Ok thanks

It is a KIA Sonet

I'm definitely buying this for my Mum's partner next year! He is also difficult to buy for but I reckon he would have a right laugh over this.. also as an engineer can make disparaging comments about the potential of the inventions for extra fun!

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It's not "the only reason you're with her", yeah? Presumably if you'd gone out with her and found her a repulsive bore you would've worked up the nerve to probably ghost her, and you've since found many reasons why she's worth being with, right? Maybe stop phrasing it like "the only reason I'm with you is you're scary and I said yes" and instead try "the only reason I first started dating you is you're scary and I said yes, but I'm glad I did now because it gave me the chance to discover (insert all the ways you love her and she makes you happy now)". Phrasing, bud. It always comes down to phrasing.

I hope he gathers the family around the fireplace and reads from this book

Brilliantly Bad: Inventions So Terrible They're Good by Mark Tanner

Lmaoooo the fact you were able to wrap them up is impressive. I would love to see the pictures of the presents you wrapped 🤣🤣

I see no FuckUp.

Regardless that’s still a rude think of her to say to you

My mother (78) read 50 Shades and told me it was pretty tame. I said if you want to read something shocking, read this... then sent her '120 days of Sodom' by the Marquis de Sade. Hahaha, she could only read a few pages.

She knows.

She's been playing innocent since she was a third your age, but you weren't born from nowhere.

Sounds like your dad is sick of being coddled, and you have one hell of a high bar to beat next year

Tell your kids that in your experience and eggplant is no match for a penis

What’s the name of the book? I’m dying of laughter. These names came out of left field.

Thanks for the laugh!

I just make the sound of a strangled meerkat and swiftly exit whatever room she's in 😅 no mother I will not explain to you why 'Decorative Penile Wrap' is apparently a thing.