Haha you joke, but I am actually pretty much blind without my glasses. Legally so in one eye. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

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Well that sucks

lies

It is, and I'm sorry you were wrong. But still, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays or whatever applies to you!

This isn't the season for internet disagreements.

This hurts my eyes bro. I read the TLDR and damn man. It would have been better to have waited to be with your GF. Now you dont have one and you have other things you dont want.

😭😭😄

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Dude, your mom needs to fukkin chill

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I am perfectly aware that being drunk is not a justification, just mentioned it so that the full picture would come across. Obviously I myself am responsible for my mistakes, and that includes this horrible event, I know that.

As I already said in a response to another comment I refrained from telling her how I perceived the situation because she made clear that she does not want an apology and I don't want her to feel like she is urged to understand someone who hurt her. She doesn't want to talk to me, which does mean I can not tell her how I feel but it's only natural that she wants to be left alone so I respect that.

As for my depression, I was having it under control pretty well, this one experience just makes me feel worse than I have felt in years in so many ways, maybe worse than I have ever felt. I don't intend to harm myself but the intrusive thoughts are definitely there and I am trying my best to fight them off. In part because I don't want her to feel like her perfectly reasonable reaction to my fuck up makes her responsible for what would happen to me if I did so something to myself.

1975? If you are 63, 1999 is when it was invented. Or 39? Not 16.

Suuuuuure the old "I don't see so well without my glasses" defense. Let us continue the denial & have you explain what is "something similar"

Honestly it’s like poorly written fan fiction. I believe it was based on the writers twilight fan fiction but don’t quote me on that.

Agreed! :)

You're a 40 year old man, aren't you?

Woah man... they don't teach you about paragraphs in college anymore?

Your dad used the top notch cognitive dissonance techniques to make you look really different than other average boring boys and their families. Even if she would be able to break up with you after such a bonding - she would never forget you.

Something to remember when your grandson will bring his first girlfriend to your Christmas party.

There's some good advice in the comments, but in general it feels a bit like TIFU (or reddit as a whole) has turned into r/ roastme.

So many rude/judgemental comments instead of providing neutral advice that avoids personal insults and leaving it at that :/

Dude, USE YOUR WORDS and ask before you touch another person. This isn't rocket science and you're far too old to not know it.

My GF from college, a Bar Harbor girl from Maine, wanted me to come back with her for winter break to her home town in Bar Harbor Maine. To make a long story short, the conversation of snow shoeing came up with her Mom and Dad and younger sister, because I guess that's one of the fun things to do when there's a foot of snow on the ground during the winter. I don't know when or how the outdoorsy, snow shoeing conversation took a strange turn, but it did when her Mom started talking about how a woman goes pee with all that clothing on, while wearing snow shoes and all the other gear. Just like a bolt of lightning the mom jumps up and runs into the other room and returns clutching something in her hand. "Ya, see.... You don't have to take your pants down or worry about falling in your own pee with this device...." She produces a funnel of some sort like what OP was describing. I thought it was a joke and looked over at the family (GF, younger sister and the dad), my GF's head in her hands, with both the younger sister and father red-faced, dying of laughter. Then the mom proceeds to show me how to use it. That was a really interesting dinner.

I was 18 and described as a butter face. I graduated and moved out of my parent's house at 17. Couldn't get anyone to go on a date with me. I had one dinner date with a guy and hung out at his house a few times before he ghosted me

Then I met my husband. I was 18. We've been together for 17 years now.

Everyone’s questioning wether the dad was or wasn’t on the spectrum, all I know is my man invented those things and was shot down by his family but nowadays they’re sold everywhere

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We were not making out, we were just laying in bed and I think snuggling although I honestly don't remember it that well. I am entirely unsure why she said that it would be ok for me to touch her breasts, we were pretty close to each other and at least emotionally pretty intimate with each other, to the point where it would maybe even look like something was going on between us if other people were to read our chats and/or listen to our phone calls. That has been to varying degrees over the months however and she did show romantic interest in other people a few times, during which we were way less intimate with each other. So it's somewhat unclear how exactly she felt about me but as far as I know she just thought of me as a close friend, maybe an inbetween of that and a romantic interest but that is not something I know for sure. She had also told me beforehand that when I was to visit her I could use her lap or her breasts as pillow if I wanted to so it might be that she just didn't mind with people she is close to being intimate with her to that exact point and that she wouldn't have thought anything of it. My guess would probably be that it was a mixture of genuine comfortableness with that in particular and also panic response/coping at the same time but again, this is just pure assumption.