There's certainly an interesting story in how that book got published (from wikipedia):

>Sade wrote it in secrecy while imprisoned in the Bastille in 1785; shortly after he was transferred elsewhere the Bastille was attacked by revolutionaries, leading him to believe the work was destroyed, but unbeknownst to him it was instead recovered and preserved by a mysterious figure and subsequently handed over to a multitude of people, culminating in its publication in 1904.

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You deserve it for 1. Cheating, and 2. Choosing to fuck a prostitute

I actually never had hangover in my life and I have been blackout drunk a lot. I don't drink anymore because other issues but never had body issues after except tiredness

You're right, there is no excuse for what I have done. I am not looking or asking for or trying to make excuses. I fucked up by doing a fucked up thing. I am 100% at fault, regardless of my own personal issues. I bear responsibility for acting within what I know to be right despite my burdens and that time, I failed to do so. But I am not a rapist. I did not rape her and I was not attempting to rape her. I don't think I'm doing her or anyone else any favors by seeing this issue for anything other than exactly what it is: Sexual assault because of my lack of self control. I have always placed importance in showing her that I respect her boundaries, that we weren't ever going to do any activities or talk about any topics that would make her even slightly uncomfortable and every time I was being genuine from the bottom of my heart. But when it mattered the most I could not keep to that promise and I misused the trust she had built for me and that is inexcusable, and I am not trying to tell anyone otherwise.

No point of answering thoroughly since you had to went emotional with it. We're not getting anywhere with such tense athmosphere. The subject rousing so much anger tells a lot.

What's with all that hatred? I see this is a sensitive subject to you.

Quick glance? A very picky one too.

Edit: I ser your karma isn't through the roof either lmao.

It's normal

I am aware that I am 100% at fault. I have actually thought about turning myself in but knowing her she might actually not want that because it could draw attention to what happened and I am unsure if she would want people around her to know about this. I would immediately confess if she pressed charges. I might actually suggest to her that she press charges. However, being devasted about this is not something I choose, nor is it something I need the to have the right for. I did something horrible and it is natural for me to feel horrible about it, the guilt eats me up and I am not searching for a way to get rid of it nor for an excuse to let myself sink into it, all I want is to figure out what the best way to move forward is, not for my own sake but so that this never happens again and so that maybe, if there is even the tiniest thing I can do for her to help her heal, that I can do that. As it stands now, the only thing I can do is to stay away and I am going to do that.

FUCK THAT BITCH! If she wants it, give it to her!

> I haven’t had a nice Christmas since childhood and i just hate this holiday. All i see are happy stories everywhere and all this good cheer and I can’t relate.

I hear you. I haven't celebrated Christmas in over 32 years. I still buy a present for my other half, but that's it. I don't even wrap it.

That'd be a great thing if I did. But like I'm pretty sure this is not normal , Im still having trouble eating anything at all.

Ah thanks for the info, now I know what to call it.

Lol yeah. You will be fine by tomorrow.

Sure does. Idk why I even decided to try that.

Its like Joker's or Rick Sanchez's origin story!

Hey, sounds like my christmas. Honestly? Fuck them

I know I am not the victim, my intention is not to come across as such. I also know that, just because there was no harmful intent, that doesn't negate the damage I have done. I do however think that I am within my rights to talk about this as long as I don't lose sight of me being at fault and her being the victim. I have given her anonimty by changing her name and I have only talked about this with my best friend and no one else for multiple reasons, of which a major one is my genuine wish to not disrespect her boundaries from here on out. If she was to see this post and to tell me that I should delete it, I would. I she was to press charges, I would confess on the spot. I she was to ask anything at all from me ever again I would not hesitate for a second to do as she asked. I would give her everything I have if that is what she asked me to do, be it money, be it any act of punishment. I want to own up to this so bad, but I am unsure of how to do that which is why I opened this thread, to gain perspective, not to get myself sympathy for something I am obviously at fault for.

Quick glance to your comment history indicates that most of them are downvoted to oblivion. Maybe it's time to reflect a bit, the problem here isn't the subject.

Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I will be reevaluating my relationship with alcohol. I've had trouble with alcohol in the past but I never hurt someone before because of it. When I was 15, I got myself drunk to the point of collapse on the regular and one time I woke up in the hospital after drinking myself into a near death state. I have since severely reduced the amounts of alcohol that I take in but as it seems that was not enough. Since I now know that I might become a liability to those around me, I'm going to consider staying away from alcohol altogether from now on.

The letter might actually be a good idea, I hadn't thought about that. That way I could offer her a formal and complete apology without putting her into a situation where she has to read it if she doesn't want to deal with the topic.

To be fair that's not exactly a welcoming family bf included I've never been a Christmas person either (no idea why it just never fit me) but if we can't get together I'll still visit my parents and have dinner together or show up for regular Christmas but to me it's just family time which gets tougher when it's not a family you know I hope the next one goes better whether you become a Christmas person or just go through the motions I hope it isn't a ball of stress you're forced to go through

You and your family are okay. Might wanna talk to your wife about some family therapy to deal with anxiety in you, her and the kids before it becomes A Thing.

If the car is damaged, well, cars are ultimately replaceable. You and your loved ones can't be fixed or replaced.

Good to hear things are looking up financially, and very good to hear you all came out physically okay.

I initially wanted to respond that it sounds as if you are all caught up in your feels, but then it occurred to me "shit, I get hangry too".

Asking your opinion about contentious topics does not necessarily equate to picking a fight. After all, they have never met you either.

Perceived gender disparity in domestic tasks in a holiday setting might just be how they have always done it. It might well be offensive to you based on your life experiences, but that doesn't make it objectively offensive.

You have six months invested. If it was truly that horrible, bounce. There are many more fish in the sea.

Alternate response: Grow up, for fuck's sake.

Yes. Imagine being assaulted by a drunk guy who you trusted. And then spending the night placating him and comforting him in the hope he won’t force himself on you again or worse.