Halfway through reading I thought you just finished your life sentence

lol even a sex worker isn’t this dirty

MAJOR fuck up. She told you to play with her tits, and you still went for the sausage wallet?

Might want to stay away from alcohol forever, bro.

Ouch, gout sucks. Had my first one this year. I drank baking soda and water and it helped with the gout. I used 1/8 teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water

Have I been speaking french or something. You are right, he is wrong. What's your view past this point?

That is alright, I appreciate the honesty! If it helps in any way, the main issue people are taking with you is that you are implying that op's behavior is a result of the victimization of men from society. I know you aren't defending his actions, but you are eating up his excuse nonetheless.

Obviously there is pressure on men to be good lovers, everyone feels that, and feeling desirable is a huge part of sexuality, and it being expressed within part of masculinity is not a bad thing. Not feeling desired is a huge blow to confidence and self perception, that much is true. However, that is internal and related to insecurities, not pressure from society; thus, portraying op as a victim of society's expectations of men felt frustrating to others.

Who’s your hooker guy?

OP, sorry for your shitty Christmas. It happens. Obviously, you weren't prepared for your bf's family's Christmas and you could have done with a heads-up.

Well, my previous 2 Christmases were stinkers.

2 years ago, we were all ready to go, did the veg prep, sorted presents all late night on Christmas eve, then at 430 on Christmas morning, I had to take my 1-year-old son to hospital with a viral wheeze. We didn't leave hospital until 630pm and our Christmas was hideously delayed.

Last year, I crashed my car on Christmas eve morning (with the Christmas Dinner in the front boot, which was promptly launched in to a farmers field). Luckily, I survived the crash (if you look at the pictures of the car on my profile, you'll see what I mean by lucky) and the wife managed to get a replacement Dinner. We got through Christmas ok, but then my father died on boxing day. Then we all caught covid 2 days after that.

This year, we've been walking on eggshells and keep getting faithful nods. Our oldest daughter cut her eye on her sisters bed, we've all had colds and I fell off my son's hoverboard on to my wife, injuring us both. It's all superficial, though because we've bounced back in the knowledge that they are small things compared to the last 2 years.

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I get your points and not going to lie, I'm not a bot. My views are subjective as I'm already in the pit by trying to participate this after getting downvoted this much. I can't just exclude my annoyance causing some intentionally toxicity to appear in my speeches under this comment, same way there's annoyance in comments towards me.

I'm trying to find the dark spots in masculinity to develop it, not to defends it's last dark castles.

You hit it on the head with that one. He clearly knows he has a problem, idk why he felt the need to out himself like this. Stay off the internet and go get some help.

... but they don't fall down!

I am so done with you. Have a nice life dipshit.

Boyfriend making comments at your expense is a dick move, red flag.

Gout? All this for gout? What the fuck is gout that it's so god damn extreme? Who cares about cancer, how do I avoid gout?

You always double or triple check any wrapping paper, envelopes etc. It there is nothing important left before you throw it out.

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Your english is fine, don't play dumb please. I do not fundamentally disagree with your point of view, I am only highlighting the nuance and why your first comment was not well received. And although a bit rude you did not say anything specifically sexist when you point out how masculinity feels and the pressure men feel to be good partners. You did, however, intentionally mischaracterize my talking points, and then attempt to invalidate my perspective.

Sounds like Becky needs to take this as her "fool me twice" and a walk away.

Also sounds like you need to evaluate consent and boundaries in your life. Be better for the next Becky in your life and let this Becky heal.

Did she give you any indication that she was into you? You know flirting, touching you excessively, you do the same thing with her prior, giving you “fuck me eyes”. Basically, did you both escalate to the point where you were sure she was attracted to you? Like would you have been confident that if you went for a kiss she would want it?

I’ll be honest, it’s hard to gauge how much you fucked up considering the circumstance. You two had been talking a lot, like bf/gfs do. She opened up to you and I suspect she had feelings for you. She wanted you to spend the night and laid mattresses next to each other. Now I have no idea if those were the only sleeping options, but, why didn’t she just sleep in her bed and you on the couch? Did she have to lay both mattress next to each other? To me laying mattress next to each other when not needed is fishing for something considering how long you two had been talking to one another. If she had been flirting with you, dropping hints, touching you excessively, etc,., then I frankly wouldn’t blame you touching her out of being an idiot. Actually, that was pretty stupid even if the situation was how I laid it out. You’d want to at least stare into her eyes and read her face if she was interested in you and then mutually lean in for a kiss, then escalate from there. You didn’t though, you just went for it and groped her chest which was dumb. I actually think if you went at it differently you two could have actually developed something for the fact that she said she didn’t mind you touching her boobs and the other reasons I mentioned. Basically, I think she might have been interested in you but was cautious not ready for anything and you like an impulse dumbass couldn’t respect that and jumped the gun before she let it known to you through her actions or words that she was interested in escalating things. You apologized and she’s upset. I would frankly drop it at this point. Leave her alone, talking to her anymore will only make things worse. If she wants yo hear from you again she’ll reach out to you. If that happens, all you can do is be honest and tell her exactly what was going through your head when it happened. I know a lot of people here are giving you a lot of shit, but while I think you did fuck up and did cross the line, it wasn’t out of malice. She was no angel herself. A woman doesn’t invite a guy for a sleepover, then sleeps next to him when she has an option not to do so (I’m assuming she slept next to you out of choice and not out of necessity), and not at least have feelings for him. You obviously realized your fuck up and maybe she can learn from this situation as well, like don’t sleep next to a guy you’ve been talking for hours everyday for months who you invited for a sleepover, and then slept next to him. People will say don’t victim blame, but being realistic she fucked too and hopefully she learns to be less trusting of men in situations like those unless she’s interested in him sexually. You feel awful about this, you don’t seem like a predator, just a young dumb kid, no reason to go off into the deep end and think of ending your life. You stopped after being told to do so. You have a conscious, you’re not a heartless monster. Learn from this, respect women’s choices, and don’t just assume she’s ready for something even if she seems interested in it.

Talk about it to the police. Don’t put the burden on her to report it knowing full well that most women don’t out of fear that nothing will happen about it. Turn yourself in and pay your debt to society

Oh, I'm sorry. My academic background is super thin and most of my english might seem a bit rude as we Finnish people are famous of being bad at small talk. I'm driving a garbage collector truck so I bsrely have even any privileges expect being harassed way less and not having to be afraid of getting raped. While I try to execute feministic thinking and dialogues, I must often time sound like a complete moran, I'm sorry.

He sexually assaulted her.

Mental disability.

I don't care if I sound like an asshole lol. I'm really not concerned about your feelings. Grow up and get over it. You claimed that the example I used, that anybody who says that voting Republican kills people is a psychopath who should be excluded from your life, revealed more about me than you could have elicited. Then you claimed that I was projecting. Then you said it wasn't what I said, but how I was saying it that was revealing. But you've never said what I was supposedly revealing. Is it just that you're overly sensitive and that you get your feelings hurt on the internet all the time? Cuz that's got nothing to do with me, kiddo.