The former

When my wife was still with her ex, he asked her to go start the propane grill while he finished prepping the meat. She turned the gas on but didn't light the burners because she didn't know you have to do that. He lost his eyebrows that day, and she doesn't touch our grill.

You went away from your home, that's not a staycation. You didn't stay, you went. To a different place.

It'll get shipped back to Amazon and you can request a refund.

Enlisted like Military?

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That post nut clarity hit hard.

I called the emergency doctor and I was told that if I was in any danger of dying from this event I would not now be able to have a coherent conversation.

I had a very similar event right happen right before Christmas as well. I only eyeballed the macaroni on the stove (I didn’t eat any), which my sister just made and went back upstairs to my room where I was playing Bread and Fred with my girlfriend around 9pm. I continued playing with her for like an hour joyfully unaware. My sister was watching a movie upstairs as well (so she didn’t smell it). I went to walk my girlfriend to her car later, only an hour later cause my “curfew” at my house is 10pm. I immediately smelled gas walking downstairs which reeked. Must’ve been me cause I would have smelled it earlier if it was my sisters fault 😬 TLDR; I looked at macaroni and gas magically turned on by itself for like an hour I already felt like an idiot but this one was really damn sneaky be careful.

You are not a good judge of “minor.” The general malaise could be a sign of concussion. A stroke could be triggered. I hope you are okay, and that you get counseling for those “issues” you wanted to forget about. The brain does not have an erase button, you can only hide things for a while, and they come back, perhaps in disguise. You can add choice to your responses, but you must be conscious to do that.

Probably would've happened sober too considering I still didn't know how to use the stove in the morning?

Wait, you're not supposed to bleed when you beat it like a red-headed stepchild?

I might be doing it wrong...

Haha so qwerky and fun!

Almost killed your whole family because of negligence while high 😂✌️❤️🤮😭🙃

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What did you do to lose the eye ? Jerking off or the tonsillectomy?

Oh fuck just reading this made me feel faint and weak like I was the one losing blood holy shit lol

My injuries feel too minor to be that serious, but I suppose you're right. I'd better call the doctor after all.

People can and do die from a head injury from a fall. Urgent you get medical examination. Don’t wait.

Man... Glad that I haven't had issues with my tonsils

Same! I've only used a gas stove a couple times, and I didn't know the knob was supposed to click when it's fully closed! But since we don't have a gas stove at home, I'm not too worried, especially with the amount of comments educating me here lol

lmao, not that deep. In secret all parents know their kid is doing the dirty.

To discover you were ace probably took a little bit of introspection/sexual curiosity even if it was never expressed through masturbation. Or who knows, maybe you tried it once to very quickly find out it wasn't for you.

"They are not losing money off what's being lifted, I promise you."

Really, you think the store is filing an insurance claim every time a $30 handle is stolen? LMAO. What do you think the average store's deductible per event is?

In reality you get the pleasure of paying for that handle by paying a little bit extra every time you shop.

Apologies for the let-down, friend.