>Had I done some due diligence before beating my meat like it owes me money, I would have found several similar TIFUs within the great scrolls of Reddit

This got my dying.

Her divorcing him sounds more like a win all around than a fuck up

It's not cold, it's room temperature soup

Easier said than done. My last ex, who things really didn’t work with, took me so long to get over. I hold onto things too much. Something I need to keep working on in therapy. But with time, hopefully I can get there and move on. I have work ahead of me.

Thank you. It’s hard to imagine finding anyone else like her. But there’s always hope.

Yours is the comment I keep rereading. I agree that telling her would probably make things bad for at least one of the three involved. And there’s only really two outcomes. I blow up her life for her to be with me and things work out between us (and that’s so unlikely) or we stop talking all together. Because she couldn’t still be friends with me if I’m saying I want to be with her. It changes everything. I may have to decide if that’s worth it but I think it’s not.

And I like your optimism that I could find someone else like her. I’ve done the dating (yes a little too much hookup too) and it just hasn’t felt right. I think the dating made me realize I only ever felt that way about her. But I’m also just so stuck in this feeling right now and it’s hard to escape. With time, hopefully things will get better and I’ll be able to move on. It seems difficult to comprehend now though.

I’ll do my best to update you guys in the morning if there is an update. She didn’t respond to me tonight. I even more now expect this meet up to not happen. But I hope I at least get to talk and don’t get ghosted again.

Improvisation with whatever tools I have

The thought process goes as follow:

What cause jock itch?

Warm and moisture= fungus infection

Does it mean I could cure it fast with disinfectant?

What tools do I have that disinfect stuff?

-Alcohol

-toothpaste

-vinegar

-Mouthwash

Than I remembered someone had a blowjob, with a cooling effect blow job, I suspected it's either mouthwash or ice water.

But it's itching bad, so mouthwash is the way I choosed to be dead inside.

To be fair, the mortality rate of a tonsillectomy is very, very low. I thought I had lost a ton of blood but I still didn’t require a transfusion. Once you get to the ER, it’s a pretty routine surgery to patch you back up. It’s just highly alarming and very uncomfortable.

^

See your FU was actually that you were involved with a religious organization

And here I thought masturbation made you deaf smh

I read the title wrong and was very confused very quickly but I didn’t check the title again until I read the whole thing I was invested

Brain: if he dies, he dies

• but that would mean the brain dies too

Brain: shit

Holy!

TIL how dangerous a tonsillectomy can be!

With or without intentional physical "activity."

You wouldn't have been in true danger unless someone wanted to investigate the smell by lighting a fire.

Nowadays all the gas you can get isn't 'coal gas' or 'water gas', so there's no CO in it.

[removed]

Gas leaks, that contain CO are from water gas and coal gas, not natural gas, so unless the person lives in a place, that still produces those, they're absolutely fine until someone makes a spark in the gas filled room.

Drink water constantly. Don't go longer than 4 hours without drinking water. Do that and you'll be fine

Can you teach me???? I wanna know how to do open heart surgery on a raccoon!

Not exactly. Our young are useless and need protection/support. If we die trying to raise them they die too, and the resources spent to get us to breeding age were wasted.

LMFAO W NGL

OP i feel sorry for you, but, boy that was entertaining to read!

I don't believe this for a second.. Sorry

We definitely need an update