I know I’ll get downvotes for saying this but I really think the people of Reddit have a problem with saying things in absolutes. Maybe OP isn’t a terrible PERSON but OP did a terrible thing in that moment. If I do something idiotic, I don’t mind being told I did something stupid, but I really hate being called an idiot just because I did something wrong one time. OP you need to work through this, get counseling, end your current relationship, and learn from this bad experience.

Witch hazel

I would write a note that said "Cop notified, description given" and put in on the outside of the front door. In addition also block the door from being opened like with a fork and knife and for all that's holy CALL THE COPS.

It went far beyond "this guy got awkward/annoyed when we didnt hook up." Pulling him by the arm out of the bar was scary, predatory behavior. It was clear he didn't respect boundaries or consent. I think most people who use Grindr might expect a hookup, but they would in general not expect to be kidnapped and sexually assaulted.

Hand sanitizer is my magic cure

Yup same here...

Have had this happen and a few other similar things. I haven't trusted ANYONE entirely in about 8 years+

It sucks. Every relationship I've been in and every friend I make I just assume they will stab me in the back someday or I think about how anyone under certain circumstances will betray anyone.

It's a cold world once you see how at the end of the day you LEGIT only have your self.

The amount of people's partners who are reading this very message that are getting cheated on right this second is probably more than anyone could guess.

Remember treat your partner well and enjoy the good times but NEVER forget that it's unhealthy to place all your happiness within another person.

Surprisingly, dandruff shampoo works pretty well.

Maybe r/ADHD? 😅

Sorry OP but people like you are exactly the reason I have trust issues.

Can't trust anybody these days and that's the truth. Itd be so amazing if I had people in my life I could actually trust but I forever have these walls up because shit like this happens to people all the time.

Hope whatever's meant to be happens and may it be for the best but I'm NGL you just possibly scarred your partner for the rest of their existence. Things like this cause deep fissures in people's psyche and they will forever expect or be waiting for you or whoever comes next to go do some fuck shit again

When i would do this, id usually use bleach on my hands and put some on a rag for any that got on my face. Its not the best idea, but I figure if you just use a bit it shouldn’t hurt.

You had a girlfriend and you decided to secretly visit an ex alone? How did you think this was going to turn out?

If you have a girlfriend you don't start bringing up old flings. And you definitely don't visit them alone, especially definitely not "because of all the memories you have together" and you definitely DEFINITELY don't secretly go to their house. If for some reason you absolutely must see an ex i.e someones going to die or lose a lot of money not we missed each other, then you bring others and you try to meet in public.

The moment you noticed your ex had messaged you and you decided not to even mention it to your soon to be ex is the moment you really fucked up.

If you were to rewind time and do things the right way around it would be something like this

Ex messages you

Hey babe my ex just messaged me. weird.

Oh what did she say?

She seems all depressed and shit. I think maybe we could get a few friends together and invite her to the arcade or something to cheer her up. (I.e not her house and not alone)

Is she suicidal, mourning or is someone in the hospital?

Nah

I love how much you care about others but she'll be fine, tell her that you've got a girlfriend now.

Txt to ex: hey I'm sorry you're going through a hard time but I've got a girlfriend you can't just keep texting me like this. I hope you find a good therapist and friends that get you through this.

To be honest that's a shitty thing to do. Ask for forgiveness after that is incredibly selfish. You should apologize, pack your shit, and leave. They deserve better than that.

Whatever you do, don't shoplift. You'll be caught red-handed

I discovered that Nair gets dye off of skin. Rub it on them immediately rub it off and wash the area. Not the best for your skin, I’m sure, but it works!

I’m a college dropout too, but it’s just that much harder of a process to do. Even the military rewards you for having a highschool diploma (no signing bonuses unless you have one) I’m not saying that it isn’t doable, but generally it isn’t a good idea to drop out of highschool.

it depends what the dye was. Manic panic and the likes go away with nail polish remover, but if it’s Elumen you might need their special “color cancellor” (can’t remember the name) that they use to remove the color from hair when you want to switch tone. It gets the color out like magic.

Life is not that simple. But it requires maturity to navigate life.

[deleted]

The real mvp right here

Go get Rit dye color remover. It is for dying cloth but I have done exactly the same as you several times. Quick- non toxic and you’ll have some for next time. Works on getting the color residue out of blonde hair too. Mix with shampoo on clean hair. Hands will come clean with a wash cloth after a two min soak. Good luck an Happy 2023!

https://preview.redd.it/i0dttynol79a1.jpeg?width=1248&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efc27bff722a91b012c457264c6bacd1ca95846d

Just here to say it's not a tifu because you did nothing wrong. Let's call him Mike has the ability to read body language and signals and ignored yours. He's garbage, you're great, love yourself and move on.

Second this with some cotton pads (bonus if textured)! May dry out your skin a bit, but works well and is cheap.

Oh yeah. Absolutely. For sure. It doesn't matter what he was expecting once it was made clear by OP that it wasn't on the table, but it's also pretty reasonable to assume that the other guy went in there with completely different expectations.

Wear some evening gloves.

Bring in donuts or something for everyone tomorrow. Yikes.