Ok, that was funny.

I also would like to point out that your husband sounds so sweet and supportive, I think you guys will make great parents. Congrats.

That's adorable. Honestly in the moment things like that are better than anything else, even if you're letting the flood gates open on the porcelain throne.

This used to happen at the fence to my primary school all the time. You need to turn the person around, so their back is facing the floor, then they can get out as easily as they got in because their ears are the right way around.

YMMV is "your mileage may vary", I believe.

Fr because she called us back 3 times leaving voicemails for John!

Plot twist! She liked being called a whore and wanted more!

I simply couldn’t, legit every time I walked by the banisters my mind told me to stick my head in 😓

She should keep better track of her john’s.

You gotta resist the intrusive thoughts!

I know a gay dude who's a womans bff, and he told me she practices giving head on him.

I can hear Biz Markie every time I see that guy.

I see what you did there. Take your upvote.

Couldn’t agree more. People think feelings can be turned on and off with a flip of a switch but the heart can be a treacherous thing. Feelings linger around until ready to engage even if very faint at first but can consume your mind whole after nurturing those same feelings.

Slow clap - well played

I love bad girls.

In walks step brother and you even bought lube

It can be like one of those Christmas hallmark type movies 😂

Just dye them your skin tone now

Embarrassed that I got my head stuck as an adult. You’d think I’d be smarter than this but here we are.

Well he could just have a toilet fetish and get a kick out of flushing a stranger's toilet. Just hypothesising here, guess we'll never know the true reason!

This is exactly how Newman stole a few strands of Jerry’s hair…

NEWMAN!

Just flip it on them. Every time someone makes a comment. Glare at them and say something like "genetic diseases are nothing to make fun of" and then walk away with a straight face. Never explain.

Pink

Apparently you're proud to say that you're just as big a piece of garbage as OP.

.... this makes no sense, unless someone was in his bathroom, watching to make sure he didn't flush them. But if that was the case, why would they have let him leave the house?

And if he's being chased by the cops and entered the building. Dropping them almost anywhere would probably be enough, as long as the cops didn't see him drop them.

Neh