The bars were too thick 😣

To get out of this, you actually have to turn your body around on your back so your head can come out the same way it went in (facing forward).

If you try to pull back, the way the head/ears are shaped will indeed keep you stuck there, but if you got into it facing forward you’ll get out of it facing forward.

I needed some type of escape plan 😅

Congratulations

Have you ever tried to put a lightbulb into your mouth? Easy in, easy out, but looks impressive! I highly recommend!

Get Therapy

Grindr can be for casual dating if you are abundantly clear in your bio what you are looking for and are thorough with your vetting process. That said, you will probably have to pass up on at least 95% of the horny folk just trying to smash. Just don’t meet up until you have some back and forth messaging and set expectations

Years ago when I was working for the province, I went out to get some parts for my car. I thought it was 12 noon. When I got back I saw that it was close to 12 noon. No one noticed I had left before lunch hour.

I have the sensation I read this same thing in a comment on r/AskReddit before..

Uh why not bend the bars to get more width for your Mensa head to slide out? 🤣

I did this very thing with my leg in grade 2

That's a great idea!

Awww thanks! I am reading him all of these nice compliments.

So your fiancé didn't wake up from the phone ringing twice, but from your laugh? Are you a seal?

Prob a little late to give up drinking.

But tell your wife you’re gonna start AA or something.

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Honestly, this just means he's the right guy and will be a great Dad. Things can get gnarly during birth (or after if you have a c-section) and he's going to be there through it all, unwavering. Congrats OP!

well, this was an interesting read

Honestly that hinge douche ain't got nothing on the tinder swindler, he straight turned that into a lifestyle, millions he swindled. This guy probably took you for Gas money? 50$ maybe? Screenshot his hinge profile and share it EVERYWHERE as a scammer and let the internet do the rest ...

Someone probably complained about the massive shits you've been taking and clogging up the plumbing so he came and checked to see if you broke the toilet.

You lost all plausible deniability by bringing the butter with you

Thanks random redditor! Well, I guess you'll never know 🤷

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Rubbing alcohol on cotton balls.

22 years old...