This is not the way to think mydude. You got to be comfortable with yourself and these feelings will move on. I’ve been through the same stuff, it hurts a lot. It happened to me a couple of months ago but now things are much better now, keep the hope that things will improve and you will look back at this and smile at the changes that have come about.

Yeah those aren't friends.

Thanks, I'll try

Look, as someone who was in your shoes not long ago, it’s not worth going through the pain over and over just to feel the slight chance of happiness is these kinda relationships. Be yourself and true to you and everything else will fall into place eventually.

If only someone would look happy/excited when is with me...

Yeah but I am shy and introverted, so finding new friends isn't that easy

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Good luck with your defense.

The problem lies with you thinking that they're your friends, because they're not.

They've been dropping hints that they don't want to spend time with you, but I think they're trying not to hurt your feelings. Unfortunately you haven't picked up on the hints.

You cannot force friendship. For a friendship to work both parties need to want it to, and they clearly don't.

You need to stop contacting them. Be polite if you bump into them or are in a group chat but don't chase them. Apologise for getting stroppy with them. They didn't do anything wrong IMO.

You also should start looking for new friends. Maybe ones that seem happy /excited to spend time with you.

Fuck those guys. They're not friends. You're only 17, go find new mates

Fuck them. They are not your friends.

Update: wanted to share I passed the exam. Thank to all who gave me heartfelt encouragement. To the rest ( you know who you are) have a nice life. Hopefully we'll never meet on the road

Probably a vision test as well.

This is the way

So I looked up Olly Goodbye Stress ingredients and it contains Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid(GABA), which can increase anxiety if you take too much of it.

See message.

My head hurts like 2-3 times a week. I'm super small. I can't take pills.

This is the only way to maturely approach the situation. Anything else, you just seeking attention here and at home and it will get worse from here.

Return the gun, use the money to fix the wall. Apologize to your mum and get help for your anger issues.

You can’t bother her at work, right. But medicine is specific to the person taking it, and if you take the wrong kind or too much you can really hurt yourself. So let’s plan ahead in case you get sick again.

Are you getting a lot of headaches? Are you on any prescription medications, or aware of having any specific chronic health issues?

How big is your overall size - like, very small person (100 lbs), medium person (150 lbs), or larger person (200+)?

You said you can’t take pills, right?

Jesus, man. As someone who once pulled this spoiled entitled crap, do better. The reward is a better relationship with your mom and not needlessly stressing the poor woman out. Moms work so hard, especially single moms, the least you can do is treat her with respect and be happy for what she does give you. At 26.. let me tell you, a roof over your head and food is everything. You have no idea how brutal the real world is.

Work on your anger issues. Learn how to save money aside. Try to be more understanding in situations you can and can’t control.

I agree with the other commenter about asking for therapy to help you learn anger management. That could have cost thousands of dollars if you'd kicked a pipe and broken it, or hit a stud and broken your foot, not to mention the stress.

I would also suggest you ask her to help you learn to manage your income and savings, retain savings to plan for unforeseen expenses (like wear and damage to your home), and plan out purchases patiently so that you don't wind up with a brand new thing you can't test for functionality - if you get CO2 in two months only to find out your gun has an issue, the first thing the manufacturer will ask is 'why did it take you two months to find this defect?'

Btw repairing a wall does not cost hundreds of dollars. Look up what you need (varies depending on the wall type), watch a video or two, and fix it yourself. Wall repair and painting are great skills to have - professionals frankly do a shitty job anyway IME. Tip: most people struggle with joint compound because they overwork it when it's wet. Get it on there, work it a little bit, and trust the sandpaper to do its job.

Go on youtube and watch videos on how to repair a hole in the wall, go to home depot and buy the material for less than 30 bucks, fix it, oh and don't kick holes in the wall.

I would suggest asking your mother to help you get into therapy for anger issues.