But is he monogamous? Either way sounds like he was a dick and you did nothing wrong

I didn't say she was being manipulated. I said that because she's more vulnerable, they shouldn't date. Moral guidelines exist outside of laws. And I never infantilized her.

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Chinese names can be really hard to pronounce for westerners. Especially since pinyin doesn't translate to English pronunciation 1:1. it's often easier to give a new name rather than have your name mispronounced for the rest of your life

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looks this is more of a case of an changing situation, maybe folks are seeing you being something that they think you are not and unfortunately its all just linked to your new name.

...why am i reminded of devil wear prada....

Just about anywhere?

His girlfriend doesn't even know that he was Bisexual.

yeah....folks are usually like oh the power dynamic is different bla bla....which is fine..sure.

but it also comes across infantilizing the other party and that irks me the most.

I have a few given names and the name I'm called by depends on whether I'm talking to friends, family, or strangers. Keep the old name for her and only let her call you by it (and tell her that only she should know of that name so she shouldn't go telling people), everyone else can know the new name

If she's gonna ruin your career, you might have to choose.

Ok. That makes sense then. You shouldn't feel bad about it. He's actively being deceitful.

So basically he did not only cheat on his girlfriend, he also did cheat on you.

That's a good reason to feel anger, but no reason to feel guilt.

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Did he specifically say he cheated? Or was he possible in a non monogamous relationship?

Either way he was a dick for not communicating all that with you, informed consent and all

That's not on you.

I usually get confirmation on relationship status but it his status on profile was single. I just assumed he was single and didn't bother much.

Isn't part of the hookup making sure we're all good?

"Are you married or dating anyone?"

"No. You?"

"Nope. The safe word is 'bananas' and nothing goes in the hair."

"Bet"

Although awkward, this is not a big ask if you've asked her respectfully and she fully understands the reasoning. I think she should get on board, at least in public settings and keep your 'original' name for her in intimate settings.

You're your real you with her...

This is way more common than you think. I've seen this all over the place in Canada/US/Europe/etc.

Why does it matter if your GF doesn't call you by your new name? If you fail to become a good actress it won't be because your girlfriend called you your original name. People go by many names and nick names. My grandma still calls me by a nick name people called me when I was a baby that nobody else has called me for decades. She calls me that in public and everywhere even though everyone else has moved on from that name. If I fail to get a promotion at work it won't be because my Grandma came to visit and called me my baby name. I'm not offended or say it is disrespectful and make her call me by my real name. Even if I became President she can still call me by my baby name and I'm not going to force her call me Mr. President just because everyone else at work does. I have a special relationship with my Granda so even if everyone else has to call me Mr. President she can still call me my old name. I would think your girlfriend was special to you too and can call you by your original name. To her you are {old name}, not {new name}. If you don't think she is special enough to be even grandfathered in to use your old name and has to be so formal she has to use your new work name then you probably should just let her go to find someone else who thinks she's special.

holy f#ck.....

In Australia they do it all the time, which honestly I just feel is bowing to ignorant racists who think they can't pronounce "Rahul" because their three brain cells are struggling to keep up autonomous functions and be an entitled bigot at the same time, but anyway it does happen a lot.

Apparently, seeing how I'm being downvoted

How is this a tifu?