If you need to buy a soda, at least get it from McD where it's just $1 for any size drink. But still if you're on that tight of a budget, even that should be avoided.

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Chubbyemu is such a great guy

Good for you. Grass isn't always greener.

A lot of people have been giving advice for your wife to get disability and I 100% support that. I wanted to comment in case there is a particular reason why your wife cannot apply or cannot qualify though. I have a disability and remote working is really important for me but being a developer just isn't for me. I had to do some thinking on alternatives.

Here are some remote working ideas for her to consider.

• developer is an obvious one
• product manager (which I am)
• project manager
• head of people (HR)
• customer success manager
• recruiter
• QA specialist
• marketing specialist
• teaching English online
• copy writer
• editor
• UI designer

All she needs to do is mass apply, get a junior role and climb up the ranks. There are cheap online courses she can do whilst she applies and even if it doesn't pay well she can look into an apprenticeship for the experience which she can do when she's not helping in the store with you. If she is able, disability would help a lot whilst she applies for jobs and studies.

She will be able to do something remotely and contribute financially. I understand why she might not want to be on disability long term, working gives a great sense of self and independence which I understand from my own experience.

One thing I did which some might not support is I did not mention my disability during the interview stage. I mentioned it when I got the job. At that point they are obliged to provide reasonable adjustments. My job was advertised as part time remote, now I am able to work as much as I want remotely and just come in a couple times a month.

I got myself a junior role and now.. 4 years later I earn £55K a year which is pretty good going I'd say at 28!Your wife has got this! And it could be an idea for you too look into this too!

Things might look bleak now but it will get better. Keep pushing forward and hold one another's hand through it. ❤️

Me too. But I know now that if I want something I must break shyness otherwise I'll simply loss too many times. I wish you luck, thank you for sharing

Thank you! I am tired of online dating, I feel like it is mostly about sex and that the relations I made using these apps are somewhat shallow. I am trying to get to know someone irl hoping it be different, but I'm so freaking alone it is hard to go out and meet ppl that way. But I'll keep doing so and remember your advice! Thank you

Nothing to do with sentimentality , you're worried because It's a memory mattress and it knows your secrets.

Thank you for sharing. You are totally right! The concert was good and I did enjoy. I know now, and keep it as a mantra, that if I want something I should break shyness. A bit practice and I'm sure it will work. Good luck !

That must have been some mattress....but you'll get over it when the new one arrives. There's nothing quite like a new mattress. Sleep (and other things) are a whole new experience...

Respect her decision just let her go

That feeling of being a useless husband/dad never goes away. We celebrate our wins and losses.

That said, time to plot a path to financial wellness and more soda. Web dev should be doing good in that department. We're not rich but we do okay.

Yeah... Make sure to be generous!

Frick

That is…unusual.

its ok you can improve everything :

I dont know about you, but as far as i can remember eating/drinking out was seen as luxury.
My parents used to cook and pack all their work lunch meals.
As family day out, we would eat sandwiches prepared back home.

Just this saves a ton of money, and also soda is bad for health.
Switch it for some flavored water you can prepare at home. Lemon water, mint water, orange water. Or even some sugary powder if you really crave it.

This isn’t one of them cum boxes stories again is it?

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If they could get a 70k job, they probably wouldn’t be posting here. There is something deeper at work

I think you should sit down with your grandmother and tell her exactly what you wrote here. 100% exactly what you wrote here.

You explained it with the right level of emotion and fact, while not being sappy or cold. I think your grandmother would appreciate it.

Once you’re done, tell her you love her and wouldn’t want to hurt her, and you want to know what she is thinking.

You don’t want to leave this unresolved, or you’ll feel bad long after she’s gone.

How on earth can a mattress be sentimental?

Fast food makes an INSANE profit on fountain drinks. If you’re hooked on soda like that- I’d say go to the nearest grocery store to get a 2 liter one for the same price instead. I empathize with wanting to give yourself some kind of a treat. I am amid similar struggles, but staying frugal while achieving the reward can remove some guilt which keeps it enjoyable. I wish you the best. I’m so sorry that your wife is not well and I hope she feels stronger very soon.

Well said. You have given me hope.

Don't be too hard on yourself, this kind of mistake is very easy to make. If your wife isn't on disability/ food stamps and the like, you should get on that asap. There's no shame in getting help, and a disability is something many need help with. Others have given you some budget tips, so I'm not going to go too much into that. Just know that you're not alone out there.

Well you've done the right thing commenting here. A host of kids will tell you what a loser you are and that you don't deserve to live while getting together and downvoting anyone who calls them out for their toxic behaviour (watch it happen to this one). Reddit used to be such a good place. The AHs were the minority. Now they move like an army.

Don't give yourself a hard time. You didn't mean to do anything wrong and your wife should have a set price the same as you. You are probably in the States where health is a commodity and having a disability is expensive. You are really up against it. Life will get better. Learn this. If you don't mean to hurt someone, then apologize for what you've done and move on. Don't let them guilt trip you. It's up to them if they sulk. Take ANY social help you can get...and look at prices.... Don't give the multinationals a penny more than you have to. Soda from a supermarket.... Not a fast food place etc. And maybe think about retraining. There are people out there with higher pay than you and not much more of anything except qualifications.