Recent comments in /f/tifu

nickeypants t1_j67b0yz wrote

Reply to TIFU Currently happening: I went to bathroom and didn’t look around first by norfolk82

Desperation will reveal many previously unknown options to you. Necessity is the mother of invention.

  1. Did you get fully naked before pooping? I doubt it, you sound like a dookie rookie and that is a pro pooper move. How attached to your underwear/socks are you?

  2. Anything in the wallet? Your boss's business card perhaps? Any low denomination bills? How much cash is your dignity worth?

  3. when you say the roll is empty, exactly HOW empty? It is technically possible to fully wipe with half of one square. Save a corner to clean the finger nail.

  4. Did you consider unfolding the empty cardboard roll? Cardboard is uncomfortable, but less so than the waddle up the stairs. It still counts as paper. Your gun may be out of ammo, but you can still throw the gun.

  5. I pray you at least chose the master bath. Jump in the shower, grit your teeth, and dig in. It is impossible to be dirty in the shower. Waffle stomp the excess down the drain. Do NOT use the loofah.

Good luck, and Godspeed soldier.

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blueblueblue432 t1_j6786xc wrote

Reply to comment by zecariah in TIFU by sleeping w my best friend by zecariah

I honestly think she's trying to save face because she knows that you're not into her as much. I say that as a girl. I hope she unblocks you though and your friendship can work out. I wouldn't expect anything, or try to force it. She may find it easier to distance herself. Sorry that this happened. You were just trying to be nice.

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MDSalien t1_j676uib wrote

Reply to Tifu by buying my grandma a pizza. by Junior-Ranger6861

Some pizza places make garlic bread that’s essentially their pizza dough without any sauce, (usually garlic, oil & Parmesan), you could use that as bread to build a sandwich…I’m thinking prosciutto, cheese (maybe goat), arugula and fig jam or honey but I don’t know what your grandma is into. You could just put two pizzas together and make some sort of sandwich but I’m not sure it will give ‘tea party’ vibes, but you could have other sandwich options as well even if it’s just for the aesthetic

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azrael962 t1_j676n5b wrote

Reply to TIFU by asking my friend to take their socks off which led to the end of our friendship and A messed up digestive system . by Unpleasant_1

You seem like you have a foot fetish. "I used to post feet pics ironically" sure you did buddy. You don't got to lie to us this is reddit as weird as your fetish could be there's stuff here a thousand times weirder. Just be honest with us and yourself. You really wanted to see those Lil piggies didn't you?

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Gary0aksGirth t1_j676igs wrote

Reply to TIFU by inadvertently getting my boss fired, making life even worse and now maybe getting fired myself by [deleted]

I know everyone has already eviscerated you here so I won't beat a dead horse. If you have a good manager/supervisor that goes to bat for you and actually tried to raise your stock, you return the favor. NEVER complain to someone above them, behind their back. Sure it may have resulted in that person being terminated, but think of the other people you have to work with who will also have to shoulder more work and who in turn, lost a manager that they may have had a similar experience or relationship with. It just paints you in a bad light and also puts a target on your back for next on the chopping block. Don't trust anyone especially in an office or corporate type job, and if you do happen to find someone trustworthy that you can confide in, don't stab them in the back. Do your job as best you can, keep your mouth shut, and let things play out how they naturally would, don't add to the problem.

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