At the very least you are only a little younger than me. I would absolutely hate to be your age and as naive and self centered as you. I cannot actually understand reaching that age and being like that. Please do not do this again to other people.

Or r/AITA

Your thoughtlessness is the issue, not your motivations, which all in all, are useless compared to results, especially in work environments

They worked for that boss for a goddamn decade and still acted like this. Goddamn I’m furious at this person

She's mashing it!

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Can’t usually get your money back at goodwill or other thrift stores. They’re secondhand items sold as-is, no guarantees. Might be able to use store credit if you actually return something, don’t think that works for busted knockoffs

Ah nice!

Hey brother, don’t let people get to you. While I can’t say I can relate entirely to your situation, I grew up with some issues of my own with being bullied or made fun of for various reasons and it can be really difficult.

That said, some of that experience made me who I am today and while at the time I was devastated about some things or aspects of my life, looking back on it I had it a lot better than most.

Perspective is key, and while no one deserves to be ridiculed for the way they look or what they wear, it can be a helpful thing to keep in mind.

Keep your head up, life goes on and keep in mind that those people that give you a hard time about what you wear are not worth your (or anyones) time. Good people will find good people, just give it time.

I can help you out here, I’ve got too many shoes. PM incoming.

Theres one for your next "never have I ever" drinking game

A real grade A a-hole here. If you get fired that’s on you and it’s a good thing. Hopefully you never have to get Covid or the long term side effects of it.

“I had to do something” you don’t own the company. Know your place and do your job.

Watching tiktoks and reading reddit for a good 30 minutes.

My man, this TIFU is no longer a FU. Your business has probably caked and dried on your ass by now so you'd likely be safe to go find TP.

and even if it hasn't, so long as your not holding a log between your cheeks it's not like shit is gonna just drip out all over the floor.

Either way, ALWAYS check for TP first and keep the backup rolls near the fortress of solitude Incase of emergencies

ever heard about bidet?

Literally was going to comment the math didn't add up and seen this. Thanks!

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You "forgot" to mention so much, I believe you needed a rewrite on your fiction before you posted.

Oh brother. Unless you are actively dribbling diarrhea from your ass, you’re not going to paint the rugs brown while you walk around the house looking for TP without wiping. It’s gonna feel gross and weird but that’s it.

How is it TIFU, if it happened in early high school and your 20

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If I worked in that pet shop I would probably get in trouble off the boss for laughing at your joke and probably fired 😂

It won't help this particular TIFU, but I second getting a bidet for next time.

Okay, seriously… You have been at this company for 10 years and to me it sounds like you can’t even do your job without being told what to do. A performance plan doesn’t have to have all the details about how you improve, but it’s pretty clear that you need to suck it up and actually do your job rather than blaming other people for your incompetence in your position. You shouldn’t need someone to baby you when you have been somewhere for years.

Also the one person who was actually helping you got fired because you were upset you couldn’t vent to her anymore. How about showing some loyalty to the people that help you. Next time, maybe don’t befriend the boss and then screw them over. If you want to vent do it with friends or family away from work. If you are struggling with doing your job, maybe you should step down from your current position as from what I’ve read it’s too hard for you.

I feel sorry for your old boss because she got fired, but I also don't feel sorry for her as she no longer has to deal with your whining about how hard your life is.

Gives new meaning to the term five knuckle shuffle.

I'm totally OK. (grunt, grunt) This is totally normal. (labored breathing) This is what is supposed to happen. (eyes rolled back in head and tongue stuck out)