>Now I know that I should pull out, but

Ah yes, the thought that tempted nearly every man at least once.

Ah. The ole Wacky Inflatable Waving Cum Slinger

10-4. Thanks for the info!

I cannot get over this belly button thing for some reason it has me in stitches - I'm imagining all of these tough nut men just lifting their shirts up like they're Winnie the pooh 🤣

Butters from South Park is all I’m picturing.

Giving food to the needy is worthy irrespective of their politics in other regards.

Yes, it’s me, the fifteen year old who posted in-depth short stories six years ago. Exposed!

After a spinal surgery and my wife turning to meth I was in a custody battle. She tested positive for meth several times in court and I was required to take tests too because she would throw accusations at me(I was always clean). After my surgery I had to learn how to catheter myself for a full year before things got back to normal down there. So I’m asked to do a drug test and the guy says he has to come in with me and I say ok but I have to self-cath. He says ok I have to watch and when I start the process he turns a shade of white a ghost would be scared of and turns in horror and says I trust you, just please hurry. The whole custody thing and learning to cath myself were some of the worst parts of the whole surgery process but I did get some giggles in the moment. I have had and maintain full custody of my kids for the last 5 and a half years.

Smfh... Are all these "stories" made up by 15 year olds? That's it... I'm off!

oh haha dw! in my case it's just because i identify as non binary, but didn't see it as relevant for the post. it's just an internety way of saying i have a female body

My nickname from my parents is Tink. Yesterday my dad autocorrected to Tank.

I knew it was a mistake so didn't even mention it. - I wonder why your friend would automatically assume the worst?

[deleted]

Thanks for giving me a hearty giggle.

but no longer female? (your business, not prying, if you want to say "piss off", completely understood)

As long as you didn't do/don't do anything illegal, there's no harm in learning about different ideologies.

The only thing I can picture is Dwight from The Office when he wanted to prove that he wasn’t wearing a wire

assigned female at birth

Well snakes need to eat too. Does he expect them to eat salad or something?

Just be careful buying a hamster. Most species are solitary and highly territorial and will kill each other of there's two of them

I absolutely HATE pineapple or any other fruit for that matter in my food, but I also don't particularly enjoy desserts and would much rather have some extra bites of food.
To me sweet tasting things do not belong in food if they're noticeable, so in my world pineapple does definitely not belong on pizza or any other food.

I will however concede that it's completely okay that other people enjoy it, hell it's fantastic that people enjoy different things otherwise we'd never have any new ideas pop up!

r/beatmeattoit

A couple buddies and myself were smoking dope in a tall-grass field, one of my friends has steel toed boots on, that's just his thing, wore em all the time.

Anyway we sat there for a couple hours skipping class and I got really really high, so I layed back in the grass. Splayed out like a snow angel.

Buddy with steel toes takes his opportunity and heel drops me right in the balls. I shot upright, then slumped over and threw up lol

This actually makes a lot of sense

Something about the combination of completely and utterly doing something wrong, yet having the fucking confidence radiating from you while doing it made this 1000% better.

Yea after I got out. I was doing onboarding for a new job and had to do a drug test. It was done at an actual testing lab and the lady looked at me like I was crazy when I asked if anybody was going to watch me. She also yelled through the door to turn the sink faucet off, which was never on, I just reaaaallly had to go at that point.

what the fuck is AFAB?