And now that’s stuck in my head. It’s going to be on the adhd radio until another song gets stuck. I once had it stuck for a few weeks. Lol.

Your first FU was going on a "distillery" tour in Nashville. Those are tourist traps & a lot of them are buying the same swill from the same distillery in Iowa. Next time you're in Nashville take a day trip out to Lynchburg & tour the Jack Daniels distillery.

Your second FU was buying Nashville hot chicken from somewhere other than Prince's. The food truck or the stall in the 5th & Broad building are both acceptable, while the location in Antioch is more authentic; but in 2018 you could have gone to the original storefront location in East Nashville, which sadly burned down a couple years ago.

“It’s because I’ve got hornets-” “Listen man, we’ve all got hornets. It’s gonna be alright”

I made the mistake of holding on to the rails/hanging grips when I lived there. It took 4 years for a weird growth in my hand to go away. Thanks NYC subways.

Sounds like par for the course on the MAX tbh

Same thing happened to me a month ago. It's 8am, trains are incredibly crowded as everyone heads to work. One car is nearly empty, my partner and I get on, excited to be able to sit. The smell hits instantly. Honestly I would have rather it smelled like feces and urine. It was the worst smell I've experienced in my life, I don't know what it was or how to explain it. There's a filthy woman sitting in the train. She's yelling sexual and racist taunts at the few other passengers. She lifts her legs and spreads them wide and says more vile sexual stuff, then proceeds to shit her jeans. Then, as she rants, she takes her shirt off. This all happened in the 30 seconds it took to get to the next station. We flee to another train car, two other passengers come with us.

By the third stop, someone has pushed the emergency button. Cops get on the platform, the woman runs through the doors between cars (not really supposed to use them but sketchier folk use them frequently) onto the car I am in. She's telling people not to tell them she's there, she's hiding etc. The train is stopped for several minutes as they find her and chase her off the train. She runs away, we see her standing on the opposite platform as we depart the station.

In case you mind about spelling:

• Weary = >!tired, exhausted, run-down!<
• >!Wary = alert, cautious!<

Once a guy was pleasuring himself on a nearly empty car. Fortunately, doors were still unlocked so I went to the next car

To trap people in the foul car?

Ah NYC transit. Never a dull moment. Once saw a woman pop a squat inbetween two train cars. A few seconds later, liquid was spilling into our car. Her piss was literally flowing back into the train car and people were side stepping it real quick.

She was drunk.

exactly that.

the best part of having the second to last stop is if you forget to get off the bus (fall asleep) you were forced off at the last stop and had to wait until 5a for the next bus. a kid died from this a few months after i had to do it once. they made it illegal to force someone off the bus like that.

My stepmom’s brother did this in 2009. A real sweetheart of a man. Very sad

A true NY subway vet knows to NEVER enter the car with no people. There’s always a reason. Always

How long have you lived in NYC? This is an obvious, not even unspoken, rule that all residents know.

He's broke and he puts his whole paycheck into crypto?? Geez. He sounds tedious and exhausting.

"if it's one thing I can't stand, it's being cramped by squatters"

It's insane in the winter esp on the E line. The E doesn't go above ground.

When I was a conductor... In 2019, it was a bad winter so my operating position was full of just homeless people. The smell was vicious. I have Vicks in my bag for this reason.

Left Parsons (Jamaica center) and got world trade... No one left the train.

In the morning (I worked the midnights), you had the regular riding crowd running from car to car from either the smell or looking for a seat.

When I went to operator in 2020... Many people lost their homes or were thrown out during covid... So I'd get to Far Rockaway and see whole train cars still full and just full of families. Parents with their kids... Etc. It was distressing. ☹️

It's still pretty bad today, thankfully no families so I hope they are ok, but a lot of single men with addiction issues.

your storytelling is awesome!

That explains the boner I get when I call my bank

Yea like the other comment said I let it air out for a good half hour-45 minutes before I went back in with the doors wide open and it was a windy enough day so I figured it was okay but good call, co2 can be super dangerous and you’re right that by the time I realized something was wrong it would be too late

When I was a conductor, and the A/C was still running R32 and the J was still running R42 (I'm not that old 🥺... I got that job when I was like 25 😭) you used to have to walk between cars to get to the control panel on the other side.

Mind you, I had to do this rain or snow. And the trains had holes in the operating positions to the point where you could see outside. Going from Howard Beach to Broad Channel those old rickety tin cans was not fun.

There are hand holds between cars to hold on to to make sure you don't slip or fall. Keep three points on contact, and you'll be fine. Secure all your items to you.

But if you feel dizzy, don't do it.

Well narrated OP, take your like and a reward as exchange for the humorous post.

CO2 ain’t what you gotta worry about coming out of exhaust. It’s the CO that’ll kill you

Yeah I've never really recovered from the betrayal

...with such classics as "Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow!"