>EDIT: his family knows about our kid. they’ve known before marriage was even thought of.

The question is if they knew you lied to your husband about it.

Or if they know that kid isn't even his in the first place.

maybe for the fact that they actually have experience in a relationship MAYBE??

or the fact that theyve were your age before. maybe cause theyre going through a divorce currently. like are you even listening or reading what you're saying OP.

You still have a very immature idea of what a relationship is.

that's just one reason why everyone is saying they're right... now all the reason and little drama things you included in your actual post might be other reasons why we're saying they're right.

and not to mention your comments kinda speak for themselves.

good luck OP, you're absolutely right... everyone must be jealous of your failing relationship full of lies and deceit. its not like they're actually thinking of your future, or thinking of your best interest. like why would they. Jesus Christ kid.

Because

1. You're both young
2. At least one of you is still going through education
3. You're both unlikely to support yourselves
4. You've lied to your partner

To say that your parents are jealous is a very weird statement, because at one point they loved each other and had you. So to say that they know nothing about love when you yourself had just been married recently is a hypocritical statement to make.

You have a very skewed perception because your parents have more experience and knowledge than you who has been married for less than a year and had a kid at 18-19.

You're not prepared, and the fact that you lied to your husband because you wanted love and support shows how unprepared you are. And shows how right your parents were.

>one of the reasons why he hasn't told anyone about the marriage is the fact that you have a kid. And if they ever find out that you lied to him about the kid being his, there's even more justification on why you shouldn't be married in their eyes. Basically, he's lying and sacrificing himself to protect you, because you lied and rushed things.

Yep

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She explained in another comment. She was pregnant and told her (now) husband that it was his baby. After they got married, she revealed that it wasn't actually his baby. She told her husband it was his baby because the real baby daddy wasn't going to support the child and she thought this guy would.

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She baby trapped him with a kid that isn't even his. And now she wonders why he isn't telling anyone they're married.

Your "marriage" is built on a lie. He's trying to love you, but he's not able to reconcile these things in his head. You can try counseling, but tbh, I'm not sure it will work in the long run.

It's not his kid. You lied to him. No wonder he's jealous. Only a few approve of your union and fewer will be willing to help you

This isn't "jealous of your ex", this a situation he feels forced into. Ya'll need therapy. Even if/when you split apart, you both still need therapy.

Your family was right, this was a horrible idea. Cry about it tonight, but start fixing this shit tomorrow. Talk to your family and ask for some help. Listen. You might be able to salvage something

I think you dodged a huge bullet, OP

I’m not going to comment on whether you made the right choice or not by getting married because it’s your life and you are free to make your own decisions.

You and your BF chose to get married and not tell anyone (congratulations on your marriage btw. I hope you have a long and successful one!) but now you are experiencing the consequences of your actions.

By keeping secrets from close friends and family, especially one as big as getting married, there will be a fallout in those relationships. Family and close friends usually expect (rightly or wrongly) to be a part of these big milestones and to be left out or not even told, can damage relationships.

You and hubby are now a team so it’s best to discuss this with him and work out a way to move forward here.

You will experience many crises as a couple and this is just the first.

Probably a good idea to have a conversation about boundaries and expectations you have of each other too - as jealousy and lying are incredibly toxic and can be abusive.

Perhaps seeing a couples therapist can help you navigate these choppy waters.

Best of luck to you all.

i don’t get why some of you are saying our parents are right. his parents are working on a divorce because his dad cheated. my parents don’t even love each other. they know nothing about love. they’ve never experienced real love. of course they are going to be jealous that someone else close to them is getting the love that they never got.

So in all of this including the part where u lied about being pregnant with your husband's baby. U think the biggest fuck up was telling his best friend? All the best with life lol

> I apologized and he forgave me. That's all that matters.

U realize just because he said he forgave u doesn't mean that doesn't live in his head or doesn't bother him.

*lives, *his

All this teeny drama and you're already married

Good luck, OP

You'll need it lmao

Alabama? I was thinking India or something. Not brother and sister though lol.

Just yank it out with some tweezers

This!

Shit, I get a nice ride from under 2g.

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no it's not. you need help kid. at least some counseling for sure.

I read between the lines

As harsh as this sounds

You deceived your current partner because you wanted love, when that deception may very well be the reason why he feels trapped in this relationship. He knows you rely on him, especially with a kid. So you've basically burdened him with responsibility at 18 while he's still going to university/school with no approval from his parents. There's a strong likelihood that if his friends and family didn't know about the marriage, they also don't know about the kid.

Thing is, if you're willing to lie at that level, your husband is probably thinking what else have you lied about that you haven't told him.

Edit: just realized, one of the reasons why he hasn't told anyone about the marriage is the fact that you have a kid. And if they ever find out that you lied to him about the kid being his, there's even more justification on why you shouldn't be married in their eyes. Basically, he's lying and sacrificing himself to protect you, because you lied and rushed things.

i was in a dark place, he was the only person i had slept with at the time other than my ex. i needed someone who would help support my child and my ex was definitely not going to do that. my ex denied that my son was his baby from the beginning and i just needed help and love and support. i apologized and he forgave me. that’s all that matters.

So divorce. They were 100% right. just because your marriage isnt working now, doesnt mean itll be an end to the relationship.

why do you have to be married now?

what are your overall plans as a couple?

what are your individual plans for that matter. im curious to what you think you want to happen from this point on.

are you guys gonna move in together? have you even lived together?

tbh i think you just need to pump the breaks and chill tf out. live life. get a job, think about going to college and actually preparing a future.

if shit goes sideways you need to make sure you'll able to take care of yourself. this should be the number one priority, having to depend on a partner in a failing relationship is not what you want to be doing.

you're still plenty young and have soooooo so much to learn. it wouldnt hurt actually going through a few relationships, that way you can learn what you want from one and what you dont want.

not everyone has their shit together. and if your family truly cares about you, i suggest actually valuing their opinions. they tried to warn you about this.

Hope it all works out OP.

OP doesn't know if this is a mistake or not. Comment OP is confusing "risk aversion" for "maturity" here.