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You're an asshole, seek help.

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Haha, what can I say I’m a curious person

No, it’s fucking crotchety.

Yeah that checks out

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It would have been better for everyone if you never posted this.

That’s so she can turn out the lights and pretend you’re Brad Pitt.

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How did you not clean up after you felt it? Rude and disgusting is such an understatement imo

You need therapy or this and other relationships won't ever be healthy

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Asking only the important questions here

I’m not a woman so I wouldn’t know, but there’s gotta be a way to clean that out so you aren’t leaving snail trails on every chair you sit on

Dude you ok? Feels like you are going through a rough patch.

Who cares? Live your life. It's important. I've rarely had relationships and someone being afraid to act on urges because of what a doctor might think would piss me off. One of the women I dated didn't want to do it the night before her appt, and we tried to do it right after we got home. Turned out the asshole doctor bruised something in there so I wasn't getting it that day either. Fucking sucked.

Could have played it up - sorry doc we're trying for a baby, can I keep my legs in the stirrups a little while longer?

“I’ve set my laser from stun, to kill”

100%

What breed of dog?

How do so many people fall for this there’s a new one of these like every other day I swear.

Tbh this wouldn’t upset me as someone who performs lots of pelvic exams. Frankly it happens to me frequently. So don’t feel too bad. Lots of comments about how you’re gross but I doubt they’re medical professionals.

I can't understand bad hygiene.