What you’ve described sounds like a loving relationship rather than a practical one. A practical relationship is like when friends agree to get together if they’re still single after X years, or a heterosexual marriage where one party is outwardly homosexual to avoid social stigma, or two people from different countries marrying for a green card. Your relationship ticks none of these boxes.

I’ve been married for 12 years, but my wife and I didn’t decide to get married as a symbol or declaration of our love for one another. It was a way of officialising our relationship in the eyes of the law, and an excuse to have a bit of a party. That’s all it was at the time, and 12 years later that’s how I still view it. Our love for one another hasn’t changed from before we got married. Our relationship is exactly the same now as it would’ve been if we decided marriage wasn’t worth it.

But you know what? She is my best friend. She is my roommate. That is love. Love isn’t about grand gestures, it’s about the pleasure you derive just from being together. It sounds like you still have that, so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about at all. You’re overthinking it and attributing the wrong value to what you have. Don’t fuck it up.

Just to get this right, a kid had porn on his computer and the principal was HAPPY (like in joyous) to expose him to his mum. What kind of country do you live in? So you a lot of mental health issues there?

(And no I'm not saying porn is fine for a 12 y.o. but neither is embarrassimg a 12 y.o. on purpose and feel happy about it.)

Totally agree with this. Long term relationships should be more like a friendship with sprinkles. I think of it as glowing embers that glow gently for longer rather than a hot flame that burns out quickly.

No, it's failing basic comprehension, bending the rules because you want some random person who couldn't or didn't bother to plan ahead to like you, and as a result possibly screwing over a shit ton of other people.

Unfortunately a ton of redditors are very immature about the idea of marriage, and in no way does this reflect real life.

Marriage is NOT a "piece of paper." Believe it or not, there is a commitment. Imagine having kids with someone you're not married to. Imagine trying to enter the hospital after they've been in an accident, but you're not next of kin.

For better or worse, society respects marriage. Saying "sorry, i cant attend the work dinner as my husband is waiting for me" is excusable, while "sorry my boyfriend is waiting for me" sounds immature to employers.

There are also tax benefits, housing and finance related benefits with loans, etc.

Right now, you guys are young. But if marriage is a deal breaker for you, then leave him. Hoping someone will change their mind after 3-5 years is wasted time and heartbreak.

And im seriously concerned with Gen Z if they think marriage is such a waste, that you should just throw all your standards out the window because "love is more important." lol right.

The same thing happened to me on my ship. We were finishing up a deployment and I was looking for a kayak, and soon learned that dicks.com isn't where you go for kayaks, lol.

I got a bit panicky once as well when I used google to search something while driving so I had to speak to the mic instead of typing but google thought I said porn. I don't remember what I wanted to say but this was on my work phone and I don't know if they are monitored for keywords or something. Scared the shit out of me.

It's not relationship advice but OP wants a male lapdance from a male stripper while in a relationship and his lapdance was out of one? Hello?

Overall the whole marriage thing is not your actual problem here. You have 2 problems. 1 is that you have put so much emphasis on a ceremony that it's clouding your ability to recognise that real love feels like friendship must of the time with a sprinkling of romance and sex to whatever degree is enough for both of you. So step back and ask yourself, if you got married tomorrow and nothing else in your relationship changed, would you want it?

The 2nd is a lot more important. You've said you want emotional vulnerability from your partner. That's a valid and important need. It's also one that many men have been trained out of. It takes emotional maturity to be able to openly share your feelings and experiences in a vulnerable way and it's a much more common trait in women than men because of how we're respectively socialised. It's a skill so he can absolutely learn it, but he has to want to for himself and you can't make him. That's the conversation you really need to have, that you want more emotional intimacy than you're currently sharing.

Be prepared that he may be unwilling or unable to meet that need. It would be very painful but it's better to know that early and cut your losses. No amount of friendship and ease will stop you from feeling disconnected if you don't share emotional intimacy. You can consider if it's something you can get in other relationships, e.g. with friends, but if it's important to you in your primary relationship you need to sort out whether that's possible with this guy.

If you decide its a deal breaker, be aware that you will go through a lot of men before you find one of the few who is capable and willing. Men are actively trained to avoid their emotions and most are not willing to do the work and face the hard feelings that are necessary to build that skill. Especially at 24 while they're brains are still finishing up developing, though your generation has grown up with a lot more exposure to emotional intelligence than previous generations so you've got better odds than older women. Wishing you the best, this is such an unpleasant experience to go through

Oh my god oh no 🤣🤣🤣

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4uqbJE5nnt8

Would a paedo…. Actually this is Reddit so it wouldn’t surprise me. I don’t need to tell myself I don’t find children sexually attractive because I just know 🤷‍♂️

You did great. Nobody thinks of sexual attraction and jealousy at that point in their life. Its all about surviving another day.

Your friend should not let you be alone with the kids, also not get puke on you btw.

What did make you think that this is an appropriate response?

Aside: When I'm with my daughter, I also greet kids we met on the playground or ask my daughter for their names. If the person accompanying them is a different one than before it might get me some weird looks but honestly I don't care.

Breast pumps are pumps that suck breast milk out for storage and later feeding in a bottle.

I'm imagining him bouncing off you and it's wholesome. A tummy bump that springs him back up to a standing position

> I am in actuality not a creepy paedo who has a photographic memory of toddlers.

You keep telling yourself that..

> Don’t get a lap dance from my boyfriend.

I'm willing to give him a try, but then I'm a 280lb male too..

To be fair, at 24 I’d have said the same thing to my girlfriend about marriage but now I’m 33, 3 years married to her and I’d definitely be a big proponent of marriage. People change as they mature. That said, living together for a significant length of time without considering getting married is a bit suspect.

In terms of “practical or loving”, a loving relationship that isn’t practical isn’t going to last at all.

> I want someone who really loves me. Who opens up to me emotionally. Who wants to spend the rest of their life with me. I want someone I’m enamored with, that I want to marry.

Sorry to be harsh, but dream on. Relationships like that either don't happen at all, or the love element doesn't last, or is one-sided. You are far, far better off with:
> He marks off all the boxes, we have great communication, great sex, a great home life but a lot of times it feels like we’re just friends.

I speak as someone who's been in a relationship with my partner for the past 43 years, married for 36 of them, kids, grandkids. I love them, always have done, but in a practical way, not is a dreamy heads in the clouds way. Those people I know who had that kind of love, almost without exception ended up hurt. And in the exceptional cases, it developed into something more 'real'. And FWIW I, the man, pushed for the marriage after we'd had our daughter..

Also she wants a lapdance, not watch a movie

Op, im not sure i understood, but what was the purpose of going trough all the photos and pick-and-choosing them?

i think that was the only fuckup here, and i dont even get why you did it? there was no need to go trough them in front of her

Listen to me, don't fuck up a good thing by confusing marriage with true love.

Marriage and love aren't the same thing. Plenty of people get married who don't love each other, and plenty of people love each other and don't get married.

It doesn't say anything about love on a marriage certificate.

Doesn't 'big boy pants' convert to 'big girl pants'?

Cuz your words sounds like you were trying to seduce someone on that flight.

i mean it was before they met, so how is he being insecure? doing something before you date isn't the same as when you are with someone