So where do you two stand? Are you still planning to go pay to him some sex worker give you a lap dance or is this issue settled and closed?

What a load of backwards bollocks.

Primary is essentially elementary and I’m fairly sure middle school levels, so basically through about 7th or 8th grade. Secondary is high school. Not all school systems are the exact same so YMMV.

Had to figure that out for a paper i wrote in grad school a year ago.

Wouldn't surprise me at all if she was to get married, realise it's not all it's cracked up to be and she's still not happy with him, proceeding to completely fuck him over in divorce.

Listen to his wisdom. Many times I traded good people for this quest for hot passion and romanticised things, only to later realize it was a true mistake. The one who loves you and cares for you is the one who will always have your back, not the one you are driven mega absolutely crazy about.

I noticed that as well. Pretty odd behaviour on OP's part

I see women who are overly eager to get married as a red flag too, I show love in plenty of ways, and a contract isn't one of them. Divorce is messy and all too common, he's right to be wary of it.

It's sad that a man of men by themselves who do more than glance at a child are automatically assumed to be paedophiles or kidnappers. Statistically, children are safer more than ever, because children are more likely to be listened to, and, paedos are more likely to be arrested and dealt with rather than moved on.

I think this can put women and children at greater risk.. for example during the height of the metoo movement, I would be careful not to travel in a lift/elevator alone with a woman I didn't know fairly well, to prevent her having any anxiety, or me being accused of anything. If I was leaving the office, I'd hang back if needed to avoid that situation. That meant the woman wouldn't have someone around who might deter a random outside stranger from attacking her, when she left the office to walk through the car park.

Absolutely agree. Been together 22 years, married for 13 and the friendship is the important bit, plus you get great sex and all the other trimmings! Life together long term isn't a romantic whirlwind, practicality has to be an important part of that relationship. It sounds like your main problem is that you want a marriage (& a wedding) and it sounds like he doesn't.

This poster has Absolutely nailed it on the emotional intimacy so I have nothing to add there.

There's a huge bloody difference between getting a lap dace while you're single compared to when you're in a relationship.

Get your head straight, mate

Ha ha, this is the only comment worth an upvote. Everybody else is either “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH!!!!” or “it’s always better to tell the truth...”

• deleted my original first paragraph because it was kind of dicky -

Can someone explain the downvotes on the valid comments (imo) about him being insecure? And I mean someone who did the downvoting because we can make assumptions about whoever’s downvoted as also being insecure but it doesn’t really give me their line of thinking. I’m kinda confused/curious and just would love to know.

It’s cute in a way that he thought he could just give you a lap dance and it would somehow work, but it’s also insecure of him in the sense of he doesn’t want some dude dancing on you. Idk if he actually said he was uncomfortable or anything, but I do wonder if it would have been fine if you’d said you wanted one from a woman. He could have handled the situation better for sure, but points for trying? I hope he apologised for knocking the air out of your lungs though, lol.

it's not even marriage he doesn't agree with, its specifically a wedding.

OP didn’t get the answers she wanted and has ghosted her own post smh. So much immaturity going on here.

Lol. My Mum told us that but if was not always the case. Often the truth wouldn’t mean she and I would fix the issue, it would just mean a sure fire beat down. But honestly, it has taught me bad habits. Still to this day, as a grown ass women I sometimes resort to white lies, and usually the times when I do so is when a lie wouldn’t be necessary... like I’m covering out of a guilty conscience that isn’t warranted?

Anyways, moral of the story - don’t lie and don’t abuse your kids.

Bro what is it with all these people talking about getting married, or having children in their early 20s I just do understand.

YOU LITERALLY SAID SEVERAL YEARS AGO YOU WERE READY MARRY SOMEONE LIKE MAYBE I DUNNO YOU ARE MOVING TOO FAST... like fuck even when you aren't in a relationship you are moving too fast.

> be me

> obsessed with Cartman from South Park

>gf is jewish

>antisemitism.jpg

>TFW no gf

>spaghetti falls out of my pockets in Walmart

Why are you looking into marriage at 24? That seems a bit young for today, at least in my country. it’s not common thing until you hit 30.

marriage is 100% just a big party though, it’s more for families to get to know each other and bond

I think your definition of love is a bit naive, you can’t spend your whole life with someone and be enamoured them, that feeling will always fade, real love is more about dependability and whether or not you feel safe

I don't understand why people seem to think betting half your shit you'll stay together is a good thing.

Anyway I jokingly told him that I wanna go to a male strip club
Read : I'm going to a male strip club next time I have the occasion because it's not fair you had a good time before meeting me so I want that good time now even if we are in the relashionship* Also he said he didn't enjoy it and she instantly think he lies.
Girl's red flag fucking flying like a chinese's parade.

Fun fact, common law negates almost everything you said. Marriage is indeed just a formality in this day and age.

Love is not always big romantic gestures, and it often feels like an easy friendship. Romance is one thing but a deep lasting connection is another thing completely. Emotional intimacy is a very valid want, however, unfortunately many men have not been socialised in this to feel comfortable in doing so. Be careful because if you leave a good thing the grass is not always greener. It may take a long time to find a man who is actually willing to be vulnerable, and he may not have the other qualities this man does. Talk to him, express your feelings and see if he is willing to learn to open up to you

So the fact that he was mentally ill and not able to get help makes it better...?

OP my advice to you is to ignore everything that was said in your post on r/relationshipadvice. Stop worrying about the future and enjoy what you have now. Marriage is indeed an outdated formality that doesn't define a good relationship.

how so