Here's a question for you.., how sad would the world be if the only great proclamation of love was marriage and nothing else? To limit oneself and one's own love and happiness to the confines of what makes a decent marriage? It sounds as if you're asking for disaster before it even begins.

You should want him to want to marry you, and to want to marry you when he's ready. Not because you're essentially putting an ultimatum upon him. It sounds like, through your own words, he's doing things right and giving you just about everything you need to have a healthy relationship. You're now sabotaging it because you failed to express your own beliefs about marriage up front. If this is how you really felt than that should have been your lead. "I expect marriage." Not "how do you feel About marriage?" As if it's an open discussion, Then get upset it doesn't match your own feelings.

Most welcome

Marriage is totally A-ok and respectable. A wedding on the other hand? Total shit show that is only conducted to soothe the ego of many. It seems to me that he has a problem with the latter but not the former. You need to relax and enjoy your relationship. Let the chips fall where they may.

This is my concern.

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Can you throw it in a blender or food processor if you have one?

Talking of red flags…

I really love your comment and how much personality it has. Thank you. I think I did equate marriage to long term commitment, and maybe he has a different view on that. I will talk to him tonight.

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I always hated the idea of marriage. Seemed utterly pointless. I was with my girlfriend for 8 years before I proposed. You are putting way too much emphasis on marriage. It's literally nothing but a party.

It's for your family to get to know each other. That's it. Marriage won't save your relationship. Marriage won't change anything. Literally not a thing will change. 2 weeks after your marriage will be the exact same as 2 weeks before your marriage. I don't know whta you are expecting, but that's not the solution.

It's not insecure to not want your gf to get lap dances from random men. Ffs, what next, it's insecure for men to not want their partners to fuck other men?

I guess maybe it did make me wonder if he really cared about me… which is stupid, I’m such an over thinker anyways.

I don’t know yet if I want to marry him. It’s too early in my opinion to make that call. But if everything goes well, then hopefully yes he’s the one I want to marry. We moved in together because we were spending most nights together so it just made sense.

😂😂😂😂😂

I've tried that. If it isn't a mushy pate neither cat wants it.

Wait, you forgot for a whole day that you had that in place? Y’all need to eat more fibre

Makes it harder to identify remains when you slam into the ground at 500mph and everyone is turned into soup

*smashes post on the ground.

ANOTHER!

Premarital counseling? I legit have never known a single person to do that. You go to couples therapy when you are struggling. If you are going to couples therapy before your married, that seems like the relationship isn't working.

Yeah exactly this. This post screams “I’m 20 and only ever had Disney princess expectations of love”. This line of thinking is super toxic for so many reasons, but one of the big ones is sweeping romantic gestures only set you up for failure. You’re always going to compare everything to the NRE (new relationship energy) or “The Wedding”. Everything in comparison will seem like your partner is failing. Love isn’t the wedding. It isn’t the infatuation you felt the first year, either. It’s the little moments where your partner makes you snort-laugh at a silly joke he told. It’s the serene walk you took together with your dog. It’s discovering a show you love and getting to tuck in and watch it together after a long day. It’s being able to enjoy each others company while doing separate things.

Love isn’t infatuation, or constant impressive gestures. Love is simple, reliable, and cozy.

I’m inclined to agree with you—but if I wanted an aisle seat/window and you didn’t pay for it and I did, I’d be pissed off if you asked, although if I am traveling by myself, I probably would switch. I’m not a selfish monster either, but if I pay extra for my seat and you don’t, well you shouldn’t be upset when someone doesn’t want to move.

Thank you for letting me know, I'll edit that out.

Edit: For some reason, I can't edit posts here. I didn't notice this mistake till I saw this comment. My bad.

Edit 2: I was eventually able to edit this post. I've deleted these sentences already.

At that point I would just say you were thinking about marriage.

We’ve talked about prenuptials before.

I do appreciate him. I just felt hurt.

The practical benefits are pretty big, at the very least in the US. Not being married actually is a major detriment to families financial stability and health.

This is not to say you shouldn't marry who you love, but it is absolutely about practicality, stability, and settling down a core for the rest of your life. That may seem transactional, but that's what happens when you take a covenant between God and Man and screw over people if they don't have this agreement with another person.

Marrying my wife was an unbelievably large boon to our lives, and we filled out a bunch of gaps in our life right there. Before, we were living on the edge for years while I provided and went to school full-time. We plan on having the actual ceremony later on, when we do want to have a costly celebration of our lives. Otherwise, it IS just a piece of paper, much like a college degree.

Yeah it was a joke, i actually wouldn’t get a lap dance from a random man