I just don’t understand what compels someone to cheat. Can’t you just watch porn like a decent human? Or communicate with your wife since you said you had a strong relationship apparently? And you gave her an STI…. That’s just so awful. I wish there was some way she could press charges for biological warfare or some shit bevause you deserve that.

Then pay your wife and daughter enough money to have a decent life in their home country.

Do one thing right for them. You destroyed their lives.

If they ask again just tell them "Uranus was glowing tonight so I just had to get a closer look!"

Highly recommend downloading an airline’s app (even if only temporarily) for this exact reason. Updated gate information, ability to check-in remotely, notifications of delays, all in one spot to help you feel less stress.

Please don't remarry.

I honestly couldn’t tell you. There were some issues when I cheated but nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone has their ups and downs.

There is absolutely nothing I could say to excuse what happened. It will be the biggest regret I have until I die

"Silicone dies to anti-rust spray. Dangerous battery juice boom boom only when touches water. Vibrator can drown if left underwater long enough". Hablo español, no entiendo a qué refieres, lo siento

what brand was it

Question: Would you not provide money if she moved? Even though she'll be in a different country, you could still send money to her online (I would get it clarified she'd be ok with this first - sending it unprompted would suck). That way you could help provide financially while still putting their needs first.

Of course, I don't know you, and so anything I say will be built on presumptions. But if you cheated twice, that sounds like poor impulse control, and perhaps a lack of emotional maturity. I feel like your daughter should live with the parent who'd best raise her, and it sounds to be her mother - by your own admission, she has a stronger bond with her mother.

Pay your wife child support

No self pity here. Self awareness. I know I fucked up

Talk to your mother

Royally llol

Slow your roll Odd_Add_5639

Yes you f_kd up and yes your life is changed because of your actions but you have to make the best of it.

Your wife and child are still here.

You stated that you have been a good father

You stated your relationship has been great recently

It is obvious that you see your wife and child as important and worthy of love

You seem to want the best for them

My man, there are a lot of positives here and you should start this minute to give your wife and child the best you can.

There is no more information. Wife does not deserve this.

My only justification is that I have the resources to provide a better life than my wife could, and that although I’ve failed as a husband and as a human being my love for my daughter is absolute.

My decision proves I’m selfish and is undeservedly unkind to my wife but I have nothing left.

That is what I deserve, but it is not what my daughter deserves

I think they realise that!

Because he fucked up🤣

Given her reaction, consider that she may not agree consent was established before you drunkenly had sex.

Maybe have a talk with her that isn't about you, you might discover that the night did not go for her the way you think it did. Just saying.

That last part made sense though, I do believe it must run out of battery eventually anyway.

Sir, I study languages...

You don’t deserve to die, self harm, or otherwise harm yourself or anyone else.

What you do need is therapy and you need to let your wife leave you and take the kids. Be a good person and graciously let her do what she needs to do. Your opinion no longer matters

Clearly was not

Thank you for your measured response. The reasons I think I can give her a better upbringing are

1. I can provide for her financially. Her mother would barely scrape by.

2. Mother would also need to do shift work including night shifts, which is hard for everyone

Whilst her mother is an encyclopaedia of parenting knowledge I have been (by my own estimation) a loving father and although I would need to learn a lot, I could make up a lot of the gap. I can’t replace a mother but I can give her a lot (not just financially) and it wouldn’t be as good as if both wife and I were in the picture but I don’t think she would say it was a bad childhood or lacking in love or care

No offense, but you've already proven twice that when the chips are down and things get hard, you will do what you want to do, even if it's wrong.

All the self hatred you're feeling and expressing is understandable to be honest. You cheated, got away with it, knew the consequences if you did it again and you did it again.

Maybe it's best to let your daughter have that superior care you described.

I'm sure once upon a time your wife was the most important thing in your life, and you threw that away with little rationale. Your daughter may be the best thing in your life, but be honest with yourself. Will that protect her?

Please take a breath. Look into some grounding and calming exercises. Do something to stop the spiral you are in.

I can't relate to the cheating, but I can relate to the guilt spiral and self-flagellation you're going through right now. It's hard to fight against - you feel guilty, realize feeling guilty is putting your emotions above those you hurt, feel guiltier, and the cycle continues.

But it's important to break that cycle. You cannot grow and mature without being able to learn to handle and accept these emotions. When caught in self-flagellation you'll never be able to mature, you'll just get trapped in that mentality and stagnate.

I encourage you to seek counseling, for the sake of yourself and for others.

r/SupportforWaywards may have resources (such as books) to help you reflect inward and grow to be a better person.