I mean, did you expect a farmer's market in Alberta in March to be produce-forward?

This isn’t a fuck up. You were genuinely trying to do something nice and your girlfriends disorder didn’t allow her to enjoy herself. It’s not your fault and she shouldn’t give you a hard time for it. It wasn’t intentional.

Best one I've read in ages. You definitely have a way with words op.

this story was fire 🔥🔥

I’d rather take preventative measures in future but thank you for the contingency plan

Yogurt for your dick. Capsaicin is fat based, and dairy cancels out the capsaicin, getting rid of the sting. As for your eyes and balls .....idk how to help that. Just some advice from one random internet stranger to another. Hope this helps

That's a hell of an origin story. Good luck in your future endeavors, Lava Dick.

it came out last week. Don't you read the patch notes

>I am wielding balls of ice and a dick of burning hatred.

I haven't heard of this D&D spell, is it homebrew?

Ok man.

This TIFU wasn't meant to invite those who get upset about how the meat was prepared (since that seems to be your focus).

In a way, you're staring at the birds at a fire-works show.

Your jump in question seems to go from how it was prepared to how military doesn't know what they are doing for some odd reason? What does that statement even have to do with anything? the military is made up of people who've come from all different walks of life to include college, McDonalds, or Highschool. We aren't just "created" with zero knowledge. It adds literally nothing, and you could've easily said:" Open flame. Probably washed it down with Johnny Walker blue mixed with some nice Sprite." and it would've made sense.

Edit:
I had to look Johnny Walker Blue up. No thanks.

This TIFU is not your enemy, so maybe just vibe like the rest of the comment section?

Interesting. Never knew that. I imagine they kill the flames?

Grilling Wagyu over coals is super common... Done in high end restaurants all over the place

Great. Glad you enjoyed your food. I read a little defensiveness. Not needed. If you wanna put an open flame to a piece of expensive meat. Go for it. You wanna eat 3 lbs of meat. Do it. It didn’t seem like I jumped from food to drink. I did. You don’t have to be a connoisseur to know not to do certain things.. you’re the one who wrote a TIFU not me. Enjoy.

Update:

My mom got back together with her boyfriend, and my fiancé and I told her that she can't just demand to live with us like that, especially since we have a baby coming. My fiancé told me that he wasn't mad at me, just mad that she constantly takes advantage of me. She started to get snippy and I told her to stop being so ungrateful. In the end, she decided to stay with her boyfriend and look for a place of her own in the meantime.

The real reason why I give her so many chances and try to help her is that I just want a mom. Especially since I'm in such a vulnerable spot emotionally right now. And sometimes I think that if I help her, she'd give me some semblance of being a mother to me. I know it's a fruitless effort, and I'm just digging myself into a hole, but the day my dad died, I felt like I lost two parents. That's a whole other wound that 20 years later, and 4 years of therapy still hasn't healed.

Thank you to all who put your input, I guess my fuck up has been resolved.

Wow. Okay. I need some time to process this….

Yeah but it’s still an expense

[removed]

if his parents can afford to buy him an A8 for his birthday, he’ll be able to afford a repair.

🙄

This is like killing an ant during recess and expecting to get expelled from school as a punishment.

Better start stretching your jaw/neck these next few months are going to be a lot of “apologizing”

It's a car, it can be repaired. You guys are okay and that's all that matters.

Proceeds to lick Stewies head ? Idk..

Peter, the horse is here