The boys of summer

I agree with some of the comments above. You've already changed the dynamic between the both of you. I think it's safe to say unless we know what she's messaged you either it will fracture your friendship with her or she will want to get back together with you.

Can I be fully honest with you? You don't want to stay friends with her. Being friends with an ex only works once feelings are gone. You are in the hook, suffering, for nothing. Cut or greatly reduce contact, get over her, then do whatever you want.

WTF, dude? How could you not actually look and see it?

And, your GF is pretty nasty if she's putting filthy underwear back into a package, and wearing them for a week at a time.

Everyone needs a little fiber in their diet …

Completely was expecting “that’s the exact size my ex was” or something to that effect.

Damn. That's rough but funny from an outside perspective

I thought you were giving scores to the dicks you had over summer, in front of your husband. 8/10 would ride again.

To be fair, there are a ton of different types of casing out there, and some artificial casing is easier to consume than the natural stuff.

But, yeah, you have your paper type casing, which may or may not be edible. You have plastic casing, not edible. But there is collegen casing, which is pretty much an edible plastic. and then you have the natural casing, ie, animal guts.

Source - worked for a place that supplied butchers and meat processors.

Traditionally it's a lacto-fermented sausage with a little tang to it and smoke cured.

Same etymology as duration / endure I image, I like Enduring Sausage as a name

Sounds edible to me

Good pint, that’s what I was looking for.

But turned out she wanted money

let's just say the "rating" correction made me think of a different summer sausage.

Do you know that the shell comes off of shrimp and they are not supposed to be crunchy

Yeah sorry I thought this post was going somewhere entirely different and not entirely abnormal for the TIFU sub. But congrats on eating paper! Could be worse.

It's customers who do.

What did the 25 texts say

I wana know how much out of 10 she rates the paper

Are you going to a college/university in the US? Can't you even develop FWB relationships with other students?

Oh yeah, I've been eating the paper too and had no clue.

I did this once drunk, but my ex wasn't responding to my texts. So late at night, I called her, but some guy picked up her phone. I became livid and said the most vile things to that dude. Tore him a new asshole. Told him all the things I already did with her to gross him out, and then hung up and cried. The next day she texts back "WTF did you say to my dad!?!" I blocked her number and moved on with my life. Don't often think about that one...

Yes, I was expecting something completely different based on the title

Yeah I don't know where he got the idea that it wasn't edible.

I was sure you'd rated Summer Sausage by comparing it favourably to your husband's penis.