Wtf did I just read?

You get cold so easily in the blazing sun that you can’t eat ice cream until it melts? You thought a hot 4 hours was going to just soften it and not turn into warm slime? Are you still high?

Kaunas is a nice place, I visited for the first time last year. thank you for sharing your TIFU - it made me laugh out loud. i hope the rest of your visit goes as smoothly.

Honestly contrary to what others are saying here, when a guy likes you he makes it known without a doubt. It feels like you were picking up on the fact he was not as engaged and interested as you were. I don't think this is a mess up at all, I think you actually sped through the small talk and got your answer, maybe its better you didn't waste more time with him.

My man

Next time do it in the trash can….then take it out.

That's called an "upper decker"

that's when you point it out "bro, did someone literally shit on that persons car? what the hell!"

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absolve yourself!

forget the poopknife?

I felt every second of this drama in my gut.

We are a little older and my wife decided we needed to replace our toilets with a nicer but frankly ridiculously expensive new toilets. I don’t think I have ever experienced such a powerful and instantaneous lifestyle upgrade.

Our water usage dropped by almost 2/3. I knew the old ones were leaky but wow that is a LOT of water.

And more importantly, these babies have never clogged or flushed incompletely. I feel like they could eat a litter of kittens in one flush, truly amazing.

We also drive a Toyota and I’d never considered the dangers there… glad we upgraded.

/r/Lithuania please let them know. Maybe someone found your gift

Haha I actually heard it from a ukrainian friend, and I though it was kinda funny.

This is just comedy fucking gold I haven’t enjoyed a laugh like this in some time take my upvote

I'm too afraid to ask...

I love ESL sometimes. “Urge to make shit”. Makes me rethink how I could communicate with my fellow humans on a level which resonates with everyone.

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Same. But, by the time I got to "make shit," I figured we weren't in Kansas anymore.

No it was a prostitute using my co workers car hood so she could shit in the street pulled her pants up and started yelling 20 dollars!

The poop knife thing made me want to vomit lol

Is the first best the poop knife? I really thought this was gonna end with OP using a kitchen knife to send his poop down

I know this reference!

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I would have immediately started screenshotting images as soon as that person started to blackmail you, it sounds like you’re not the most mature person.

Useful to stress that to people - even if you stand up to them, they generally don't send out the noods.

Pretty much. Be prepared for them to post them out of spite. Chances are good that they won't bother, but some people will do it anyway

And they only profit on those who immediately panic so they know that they have “lost”

It's the honeypot, no less. Absolutely not worth giving into their demands because what's to stop them from blackmailing you a second time? Or asking for more? Or releasing the photos anyway?

Well done on you for saying no. Just learn from the experience and hopefully you won't fall for the same trick next time