I pictured the throw like a track and field event I like to now call “Shit put”.

I pictured the slow unraveling of the turd mid air with opera music in the background 😂

It was on the outside of the ball of the heel. If you want I shared the pic of the pencil in my foot to r/MakeMeSuffer, so you can take a look at my post history of you're curious

r/PencilStabbers

The toxic offspring was also awesome. 😄

OP, I fucking loved this story. Thanks a lot for sharing. Also, the wordings used were excellent, it made the story 10 times better.

I somehow stabbed myself in the meaty part between the thumb and forefinger with a pencil when I was about 10 or so. The lead broke off deep in my hand.

For some reason, nobody ever did anything about getting it out, and my hand eventually healed over it. It’s still there to this day, decades later and you can faintly see it.

And before the comments start… it’s not actually lead; it’s graphite. My body never showed any sign of infection or rejection. It’s just there…

Where in your foot was it?

thought this was gonna be about you shitting ur pants (its almost happened to me with too much caffeine and cream) but baileys is even better

I used to work part time 20 hrs per week for a school district and they offered health insurance. It doesn’t have to be a fantastic plan, just something very basic to help ward off catastrophe.

You should definitely get a pencil tattoo

I used to think I rated by having caught a [smaller] toenail on a running shoe sole at 3am, thus ripping it completely off with bloody aftermath.

But with this here SAT-approved sharpened-#2 self-impalement, you have clearly surpassed me in the footrace to TIFU hell.

Relax. "Fell out the window" is the way most important shit gets handled in the Russian sphere of influence these days...

I just hope you're no longer as messy now!

Most companies are full time but a good amount do offer benefits for part time. I could be remembering incorrectly but I am 90% sure when my sister worked she was part time and had benefits. I believe there was a longer wait period until the benefits began though. I would just look at a few entry level positions at larger companies to see offered benefits. Won’t be the most fulfilling work but it’ll help pay bills and help get you needed coverage in the meantime. Plus personally any work experience you can add to resumes is always good.

Do they offer for part time? I thought companies only offer insurance for full time employees? I'll have to look into that, thanks for the tip!

“I have been warned by the doctors,” did you go in with a complaint of shivers or something? None of this story makes sense

I believed the poop knife story was completely made up.. Until I actually needed a poop knife. Was a rough day

Not the best thing in the world but even part time at Starbucks offers very good benefits.

Right? Like clearly, this lady took a shit before and would know how to make her own toilet flush. I can't imagine going through this and concluding that picking up my own shit and toss it out the window is somehow better than asking how to get the toilet to flush properly...

Absolutely not. Stop it

I read Kansas City too but just assumed Soviet referred to some sort of architecture I was unfamiliar with😂

Why send them your own nudes?! Send someone else's :-D

Put it in a coconut

You're a cold person so should only eat melted ice cream? That seems like you might be taking something too literally or your doctor was a quack