Time to open up that marriage if u wanna save it.

The gender of who did what doesn't matter, invasion of privacy is wrong.

You fucked up? She fucked up. It's over my friend, be well.

Hey bro this post seems to be bringing out some bad in you in the comments. Maybe it would be best to get rid of it and really handle this situation personally with people who actually know you and your situation. I hope it gets better man. Sounds like a nightmare but you gotta keep it together for yourself and the kids and make the best of it. Good luck❤️

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Or maybe people like you who jump to conclusions? I wasn't answering to OP first of all, I answered to the dude who literally said 'you're entitled to know what your wife is up to" like going through her personal stuff is the way to go. My answer was regarding that, plus the fact that normal adults communicate, they don't cheat nor do they invade each other's privacy. Please point to exactly where I am defending the cheater =)))

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This victim role you're pushing yourself into is a defense mechanism and a poor one at that.

Correct way to deal with this is to get your self-esteem back on track. You're a man, approach this situation like one. Open your eyes to what's good about you, what's attractive about you, what you love and like about yourself. Once you remember that you're a good man with a lot to offer, once you remember that you like yourself and want to see yourself succeed - your inner resources will naturally go towards recovering from this correctly and moving on to something better.

How we think about things matters a great deal. In this case it will be a difference in total misery for a long time, or a quick recovery with a relationship with someone better on the horizon.

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"She has all but stop texting me, she can go weeks without contacting me, we are currently going through some stuff."

I think we've found the cause of the "stuff".

Y’all motherfuckers need to empathize. Dude said their marriage was in a bad place and he went and deliberately looked for shit. There are a million ways to mend that fence that doesn’t involve being a petty ass that steals her phone and snoops through it. That is some jealous ass teenage shit. Maybe it’s me, but if I suspect my wife is cheating I’m not snooping through her personal shit. All that does is make a bad situation worse. For OP because he found out some shit no husband would want to find out and for OPs wife because he violated her trust.

It sounds like the marriage has been over. There are red flags from both of you in this one.

She gone man. She gone.

Who do you think I was referring to when I said "normal adults come forward when there's something wrong in the relationship'?

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Have you actually talked this out with her. As in how you feel, your issues in the marriage and how to overcome them?

It sounds like you both did some bad things based on your post, but if you are both open to actually working on them, therapy maybe then you can maybe work this out, but it has to be both of you together.

Can she get over what you did (assuming, since you say it's your fault, that something happened that lead her to this)

But can you also get over what she did. She made a choice and had some sort of relationship with this guy, can you see past it?

This is a 2 way street where both of you have to be fully on board or you both need to walk away.

Good luck!

Bait? Man I hate to say it but leave

I can understand not caring about the house and car but your kids? You don't care about your kids? No wonder there are problems in your relationship.

Interesting that you’re choosing the side of the cheating woman over the guy who just wanted to know the truth. Especially with kids involved? God damn.

kinda old to be checking your wife's phone but now that you do know. hey counseling if you want to fix things

Hol'up

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Lol, guys wife is straight up cheating on him and talking shit about him to another man and you’re acting like she’s the victim 😂

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No one is entitled to anyone's privacy though. Normal adults talk and come forward when anything feels wrong in the relationship. But deciding to go through her phone says so, so much.