These comments demonstrate the total lack of support and respect men dealing with mental health issues/relationship issues get.

Basically just a slew of people blaming OP and effectively telling OP to "man up", fucking pathetic.

jfc if you think marriage means sharing absolutely everything all the time please go and get some fucking therapy

This 110% man. It sucks, but you have to deal with reality. And the reality is, she is not the loving, caring partner you deserve. She is now in dorect competition with you for ypur happiness. She is not a full blown enemy because you need to be as cordial as possible for the kids to have the best life they can; but she is not a teammate in life either.

Do what is best for you and your kids.

If this is all true sorry man. I think you already know that it’s over, and if I were you I would confront that dude and stand up for yourself. Don’t let her use you like a toy she can manipulate around because you are her husband. Punch that dude in the face bang her friend and get a lawyer that deals in unfaithful divorce, it helps in a judge understanding the situation so he can make the best decision for the children.

She says she doesn’t talk to them anymore, but she also said you were divorced! Get out.

Don't think like that. You should be angry not defeated. She cheated on you while you were married and had children together. Thats one of the largest betrayals of trust you can have. Don't let her get a single scrap more than what she gets when you go to a lawyer and stand up for yourself. Fuck that woman and I'd say the same thing if it was the man cheating on his wife. Fuck anybody who would throw away that kind of history so they could screw somebody else.

So sorry. That’s my nightmare.
But you have to face it like a man and stop acting like you don’t care. You obviously care and you have to find a way to coexist.

Family, friends, therapist - talk to them if you have 'em. Get really into your hobbies or find new ones. Health and fitness, whatever you can. Find the things that give you comfort and do those. Do everything you can to invest in yourself. Draw open the curtains. Open the windows. Get outside to green spaces. Heal before you get back out there. All of your anger, hurt and despair should be focused into improving you. Do not seek comfort in drugs or alcohol. You will have to acknowledge these feelings. Its a little easier at first if you just keep busy. Its going to suck. It will get better, slowly. But you will come out the other side better if you do all of these things.

There is a lot of damage. Call me naive, but if you are both willing too do the work then I say don't give up. Go to therapy together. Court her again. If you love her, you have children, and she's willing, don't give up. It is going to be hard, but I wouldn't give up. DM me if you want to chat more.

You didn't fuck up. You hit the lottery by snooping. Time to lawyer up and start your new life. Sucks that you gotta go through it. This lady was bringing this random dude around your kids. Don't give a fuck if you guys are or we're going through some shit. She is clearly fucking this guy and still is talking to him.

Yep. Something fishy from the get go

The Reddit Detective

This breaks my heart...but it's not your fuck up.

Lawyer up, bro. Fight for your kids.

Good. Because that's what women want during a divorce.

There's a reason why men mentally break down over financials of a divorce. it's because women make financial gains an overwhelming majority of the time in contrast to men.

Even if you get a lower paying job, it's likely you'll owe her a percentage based on how much you made while with her.

You can't win. You are fucked. And it's because society treats women like little cupcakes. Even criminal sentencing is more lenient on women, like it's more lenient for white people (in contrast to black people)

Get a lawyer. If she wants to leave that's fine, but she got to decide to be with you and then leave for financial gains, and she should go to hell for using men like that.

Ah well, this is just a roller coaster, you both fucked up, you looked, and knowing you did find stuff maybe you had reasons to suspect, but she did you dirty first so...

Yeah, based on your post history, I would be cheating on you too.

You had me until the end part where you said “we may look around”. If you don’t initiate a breakup/divorce when you’re unhappy and instead you cheat on someone, you’re a POS

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These are very good points. I’d be interested in ops answer.

Dude wtf

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walk away and keep your dignity and respect and get a lawyer